Trying to get rid of my side chick

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old and I am living with a woman who is 32. This woman and I started to live together after her sister threw her out of her house and accused her of trying to take away her man.

She did not have anywhere to stay so I took her in. She did not want to go back to the country because her sister told her mother plenty of bad things about her, including that she got pregnant and threw away the belly. But it was not true. Her mother believed her sister and told her that abortion is murder. She said that she did not want any murderer in her house, because that would bring a curse on her home and she is a Christian. Her sister is very wicked.

This woman was only making minimum wage at the time, and her sister wanted her to pay half of what she was earning to stay in the house, and she had to buy her own food. She said her sister's boyfriend used to give her money to give to her sister to keep her quiet, but they never had sex.

Even if I had my doubts that this girl was not telling me the truth, all doubts were removed the first time we had sex. She told me that she was a virgin, but I did not believe her. But after I convinced her to have sex with me, I realised that she was talking the truth. I asked her how she remained a virgin for so long and she said she was always afraid of men.

Sometimes I ask myself what I am going to do because this girl is staying with me, but I have a girlfriend who lives in New York and we have a child together. This girlfriend is the woman I promised to marry. She and I were in college together, and she got a scholarship to go abroad. She is my wife-to-be, so I cannot let her down. When she calls at nights, I have to tell the other girl not to say a word, because I don't want her to know that this girl is here with me.

I really don't know what to do because I cannot marry her. She cannot walk in my child's mother's shoes. I am hoping to help her get a visa to go away. My main woman will be back in Jamaica about May.

D.R.

Dear D.R.,

You should have known that it is not unusual for a woman to be in her 30s or older and be a virgin.

So when this woman told you that she was a virgin, you should not have doubted her. But now you feel guilty because you got involved with her sexually, and now you are trying to push her out before the woman of your choice returns to Jamaica. I hope that you have told this woman the truth.

Concerning her sister who lied on her and accused her of trying to take away her man, she is a very iniquitous woman. She was not helpful to her sister; but many sisters don't help each other. She could have allowed her sister to stay in the house and contribute to food and even rent. But she demanded too much from her. Then she lied and said that the girl wanted her man.

This young woman needs to go to school. Perhaps she can contact HEART/NSTA Trust; she would achieve something if she is determined to do well. I hope that you would be able to assist her financially until she gets on her feet, so to speak.

Pastor