Mother put me out for no reason

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 and I recently moved out of my parents’ home. My parents are not married.

My father has seven children, but only two with my mother. My parents always argue. My father said that my mother is miserable. But she is arguing about his many women. Yet my mother is very loyal to him. She bends over that tub, washes his clothes, and prepares his meals.

My mother taught me to cook and to keep the house clean. I know some of my father’s children. Most of them are boys. I have gone out to different places with my father and he is very proud of me. I am attending college and my father is paying the fees. I did not want to leave home, but circumstances have caused me to.

My boyfriend came to visit me and overstayed his time. We were in the living room. My mother was in her room and my boyfriend and I were on the couch. I was sitting on him and he was romancing me, but we were not having sex. My mother saw us and cursed me. My boyfriend left, but even after he left, my mother continued to curse. When my father came in, my mother told him that she caught my boyfriend and I having sex. I can swear on my Bible that we were not. My mother told my father that it is time for me to have my own place where I can take my man.

There was not a day for a whole month that my mother did not curse me. So, my boyfriend and I have rented a place and we are living together. We did not have the security money, but I went to my father, who gave it to me. He told me he does not believe that I was having sex with the guy, but even if I was, my mother should not be carrying on like that. But he said I am over 18 and he expects me to be careful with how I live and to make sure that I pass my exams because that’s all he can do for me.

My father said something that bothers me. He said that he knows that he did not set a good example for his children. But he cannot turn back the clock; it is too late.

B.

Dear B.,

Perhaps your mother thought that your boyfriend and you were having sex when she saw both of you on the couch.

Now, you said you were not. I do not understand, however, why your mother had not stopped cursing you. I am glad to know that your father is paying for you to attend college. I wish you would do well there. Perhaps your mother feels a little jealous over the relationship your father and you have. But whether or not your boyfriend and you were having sex, your mother should not encourage your father to put you out of his house. She has made a very big mistake. I am glad that your dad is in a position to pay for you to attend college.

I am sure you have made some mistakes as a young girl. However, try not to be disrespectful to your mother.

Pastor