Church sister doesn’t know I am keeping her husband happy

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 and I am having a problem. When I was 19, some of my schoolmates and I became ‘night workers’. I was staying with a couple of the girls who engaged in this practice. We usually sleep all day and then go out in the evenings.

Some of the girls who had more experience had their customers. These men had their telephone numbers and sometimes made arrangements with the girls and picked them up. The girls taught me the tricks of the trade.

I used to wear dark glasses, but then I stopped because the men wanted to see my face. Some of the men tried negotiating the price for the ‘package’ they desired. There were times when two of us girls agreed to go with a man and so we split the money. Some of these men took us to hotels and spent good money on us. Others took us to motels where we spent an hour or two with them.

The men who were married and in good businesses spent the most money. But there were times when things were hard and I had to be on the street. Police officers got to know me and the other girls. Some even took us home after a certain time in the early morning.

One day, a woman called me and threatened me. I decided that I wanted to change my life. I started attending a church. As soon as I did, one of the men recognised me and started being nice to me. I gave my testimony one night at the church and that was a big mistake. The women didn’t think that I had changed. But I did not totally stop having sex for money.

I had learnt from the other girls how to operate. So, when I could not pay rent on my own, I called some of these guys I knew as my customers and they helped me. I wasn’t comfortable at the church because the members saw me as a whore. The women did not want me to get close to their husbands. I eventually left and found another church.

I got a job but the pay was very small, so I still had to go with men, especially married men. One day, one of the women I met at church told me that her husband is not a Christian, and she has done everything to try to keep him, but he is still running around. She wanted to know a formula that she can use. I told her I only know how to satisfy a man. That woman and I have become very good friends. What she did not know is that her husband was one of my customers. Whenever I am broke, I can always call on him.

Sometimes when I go to church, I feel like the pastor is preaching about me. What do you think I should do?

Y.

Dear Y.,

I suggest that you continue attending church. You are not beating the street anymore.

You are on your own and living on your own. You have not totally abandoned your lifestyle, but, if you want to stop from the life you are accustomed to, and you are determined to stop, you will survive. You know that most men will not give you money unless you give them your body, and you have developed a reputation of having relations with married men. When you went to church, you gave a testimony and you probably said things that you should not have, so the church women remember your explosive testimony. They should not hold that against you, but they know that it is not easy to find men who are faithful, so they are going to do everything to protect their marriages.

I do not know what type of work you are doing now, but you are only 30; therefore you need to go back to school. You should consider attending HEART and receiving training to do something that would give you a chance to become a professional and be able to pay your bills. The woman you met at church with whom you became friends told you that she had not been able to get her husband to stop running after women and she wants your advice. I am wondering if that woman suspected or heard that her husband and you are good friends. When people raise such matters to you, you should be very careful of how you respond, because, whatever you say, she might quote you. This woman might tell the other women what you told her and cause them not to trust you. You need a better paying job. You have made much money as a prostitute but you know that that is not something you should continue to do.

When you go to church, go to worship. You might feel that the pastor is preaching about you, but he might not even be aware that what he is saying is affecting you. So, don’t stop going to church. I want to wish you well. Pray and pray, and learn to serve God. One of these days, you may find a man who loves you with all his heart. He might even marry you and have children with you and make you very happy.

Pastor