Churchman is a closet freak

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and I have been a sex worker since I was in my teens. I don't have much education.

My father left my mother, who had six of us, and she was supporting us. She did not have a permanent job. She worked as a bartender and as a housekeeper. I have three sisters and all of us learnt to hustle for ourselves. When it was mango season, we sold mangoes on the road. We sold plums and different things to get money to support ourselves.

Men used to come to our house at different times of the night, and they would take our mother away. I saw my mother having sex with different men at our house. When we talked to her about it, she said she couldn't do better. I picked up an STI and after I was cured, I decided I would not go back on the streets. I started to attend church and I got baptised. After being in church for a year, one of the men in the church fell in love with me and he told the pastor, who encouraged him to marry me.

I got a job in a supermarket to clean the floor and to do other things, but not as a cashier. I rented a room and was living by myself. This church brother used to visit me. One day I caught him going through my things and I was very upset with him. He said he did not mean anything. I told him that I needed my privacy. We started to have sex, and we stopped attending church.

I met one of the girls who used to be on the streets with me and she told me that she was going abroad because she got her visa. She asked me to keep some things for her and I agreed. One of the things she left was a vibrator, and she told me I could use it. I was using it to satisfy myself and my boyfriend saw me with it. I told him that it was not mine, but he did not believe me. He threatened to throw it away. I appealed to him not to do so, because it would cost me money to buy it back. I had to chase this guy away from me because he went back into the church and told some of the members that I am very bad because I was using a vibrator. This man used to take the vibrator and use it all over me. He knows that he is lying. He is now in the church giving me hell, but I don't want him any more, and I will not go back to that church. One of my sisters is now living with me and we are getting long fine.

D.

Dear D.,

I am sorry to hear that you have not had a very pleasant upbringing.

Your mother tried her best, but she was promiscuous, and was unable to teach you how to conduct yourself as a lady. You became a prostitute and as a result, in moving from man to man, you caught an STI.

The young man from your church proved to be a failure, but it seems to me that you have settled down. One of your sisters and you are now sharing a house. This young man who you met at your church has let you down. He is not a good man, and whatever he saw at your house shouldn't have been discussed with anybody. I wish you well. Take good care of yourself. Don't give up on God. Pray, and even if you do not attend that church, find another church to go to.

Pastor