Can’t get this man to notice me

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 20s and I am interested in a guy I see every day. We work in the same department and we have to interact because of the job.

I try to show him that I am interested in him, but he is so slow that he cannot pick up the clues that I am sending. When we are together alone, either in his office or mine, I sit in such a way to show him that he can have me if he wants to, but he never looks at me that way. He always looks straight in my face, but never at my legs.

I do not know if he has a girlfriend. Do you suggest that I ask him? He has a car and as soon as it 5 o'clock, he leaves alone and goes to his car and drives away. He has never offered to give me a ride. Neither does he offer to take any of the other girls at the office home or to catch their transportation to go home. We have had office parties and he comes alone. Someone in the company died and this guy attended the funeral and brought his sister with him. After the funeral, I asked him whether he could give me a ride home and he said he and his sister had a function to attend. I think he was lying. He probably did not want to be seen with me.

Don't get me wrong, I know that I am a lovely girl, many people have told me so. But this man that I am attracted to is not attracted to me at all. What would you suggest that I do to show him that I am interested in him? Christmas will soon be here and some of my colleagues are talking about having a party and exchanging gifts. What do you suggest that I could buy for this man that would indicate to him that I love him? I would spend any amount of money to purchase a gift to win him over. This guy does not have children and he is still living at home. He is 25 years old and has a great physique. I will be looking out for your answer.

P.G.

Dear P.G.,

This young man is well aware that you are interested in him. He is not a fool.

You are working too hard to get his attention and I believe that he is laughing at you. When you are together alone at the workplace, you expose yourself too much to him. He might be asking "Why is this girl not sitting properly?" You should be ladylike at all times. You want him to look at you from your waist down. He knows that that is what you want. Perhaps he is saying to himself "This girl wants me to sleep with her, but she will not succeed in getting me to do so."

You have to be careful not to make yourself cheap. Why should you try to expose yourself to this man to give him the impression that you are interested in him? You shouldn't stoop so low. You are young and you don't have to be desperate to find a man. There is a saying in Jamaica that 'what is for you can't be for somebody else'.

Concerning gifts for Christmas, don't spend your money on anything expensive. Some men would appreciate simple gift. Why don't you ask this man what he would appreciate for Christmas? You would have broken the ice, so to speak.

Pastor