Wife used my money to stay with her boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years. She previously got married when she was very young, but her husband left her with two children. I took her with these two children and supported her.

When I saw certain movements, I questioned her. But she accused me of not trusting her. Her son told me that his mother had a boyfriend. He said he heard her and the man on the phone, and she was calling me an idiot and they were making plans to meet.

I had some money in the bank and I put her name on the account. She went behind my back and withdrew $10,000. She said she had to do a test. I told her to put the money back and I gave her the $10,000. She did not lodge the money, so I became suspicious. I employed a private eye to watch her. He told me that on a particular day, as soon as I drove out and the children were gone to school, a man picked her up and they did not come back until late in the afternoon. He described the man, but I could not figure who he was.

I do not believe in searching a woman's handbag, but one day I looked into it and saw that she had two panties. Now, Pastor, what is my wife doing with two panties? She also had a rag and cake soap. I said it in confidence to my sister, and she said that my wife has a man who she planned to meet somewhere.

When I asked my wife why she did not put back the money into the account, she said she did not have the time to go to the bank. I told her to give it to me and I would put it back. She told me a friend was in a little financial jam, so she loaned her the money. The friend turned out to be her boyfriend, and the money was used to pay for the room that they stayed in. This woman was sleeping with me and a younger man. She is not interested in getting a job.

I have not fussed with her, but I told her that I am planning to give up Kingston and live in Trelawny. My father gave me a piece of land down there, so I am planning to build on it. She said she is not interested in living in Trelawny. I am going to leave this woman because she is no good, and I will get myself into trouble if we continue to live together. I told her that I know about her boyfriend. She did not deny it; she just wants me to tell her who gave me that information.

The house we are living in belongs to her people, so I plan to walk out and leave her, so that she and her boyfriend can live together. I have been sleeping on the couch for the past two months. I have not eaten anything from her, because she is deadly and she may poison me.

Do you think what I am planning to do is the best way to end this marriage? I am not interested in going to a counsellor because I do not want her any more.

V.M.

Dear V.M.,

I think what you are saying is that you know for sure that the money your wife took from the account was used to spend time with her side man at a hotel, or wherever they went.

I think you are also trying to say that your sister opened your eyes when you told her that your wife had two panties, a rag and soap in her bag. That was an indication that she was going somewhere to be with a man. You believe that your sister is right.

It is indeed very strange that your wife has not denied having a boyfriend. What is puzzling to her is how you found out. Generally, men find out if their women are cheating by going into their phones, but you went into her bag, and the bag gave her away. It would seem to me that you are not willing to forgive your wife if she is indeed guilty of infidelity. You are not even interested in going for counselling. But whether she would change her mind and go for counselling, you do not want her back in your life. Therefore, I suggest that you survey the land your father gave to you, get a title for it, and build your own home. That will give you peace of mind. I wish you well.

Pastor