Sisters think I’m an idiot

Dear Pastor,

I am a 15-year-old guy and I am living with my parents and siblings.

I have two older sisters who are teachers, and they are always cursing me and calling me stupid. They say that I don't have any sense and that I behave as if I am a girl.

I don't have any self-confidence. Only my father takes up for me when they curse me and call me an idiot. My father generally says that I have more sense than them, and for that reason I love my father. Sometimes he tells my sister that I am going to surprise them.

My sisters have boyfriends and they talk these things about me in front of their boyfriends, and their boyfriends laugh at me. I feel insecure but despite that, I am doing well in school.

I would like to become a mechanical engineer. Sometimes I go out with my uncle. He has a car and he teaches me to drive. Sometimes I feel rejected. The guidance counsellor at my school is always encouraging me and helping me to overcome my anxiety and stress. Sometimes I don't even know what is causing me to feel so down, but I am trying to overcome these problems.

Whenever I read your column I am encouraged, and I hope to become a counsellor like you.

L.

Dear L.,

In your family situation, you are an adolescent, and all adolescents go through struggles.

Some become very depressed and even commit suicide. You do not believe that you have experienced love from family members. Your sisters, who should know better, laugh at you and curse you. I say they should know better, because they are teachers and have had some training. You have made a very good point. You said that a guidance counsellor is always encouraging you; he said that you are a valuable student and that he is not wasting his time. I am also happy that your father thinks well of you. He stands up for you and as you grow up, you will never forget what your father meant to you as a young man. I am glad that you recognised your anxiety. You see, having done so, you will learn to grow stronger every day. As you grow up, you will learn to become courageous. It will not come overnight.

There are times when people outside the home may laugh at you and you may feel down and discouraged. But discouragement is not the end of your life. I know you will overcome your anxiety. Again, I say thank God for your father and for your guidance counsellor, and please do not give up on life. Try to dress well and to speak standard English. Try to associate yourself with positive people. Try to exercise every day. Do something physical every day. Talk to yourself and say that you can overcome your problems, particularly your anxiety. Write down your struggles and work on them one by one. I thank you for writing. You're a good young man.

Pastor