Ex-girlfriend liked getting high to have sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old. When I was in my teens, I experimented with drugs. I had many friends who were using drugs, so I joined in with them.

These were guys who came from good, middle-class families. Although I engaged in drugs, I never liked the idea. My first sexual experience was with a girl who was doing drugs; it was recreational drugs. She was older than I was and she told me that for good sex, she had to take drugs.

One time while having sex with her, I discovered that she was at the point where she was unable to control herself. She was doing some wild things and staring at me, using the 'F' word. I was scared. But she later ceased from cursing and we fell asleep. We were at her cousin's house and I slept over. But I told her a few days later that I was not going to continue to take drugs. She said she had not made up her mind to stop. She continued to play around with drugs, but I saw the danger in it.

She used to inhale cocaine and use ganja. I still wonder what caused her to behave as if she was wild when we were making love. I must tell you that I have got to love her because she was very intelligent, or should I say very bright. After we broke up, there were times I had to call her to assist me in working out some problems because I was very slow in mathematics.

I will never forget this girl because she was good to me, and she did not cause me any problems after I told her that we would have to part company. She is now married and living abroad. I can say to all people that drugs and sex don't mix. I know that as a fact. My present lover and I are not drug users, and I am seeing life clearer now than when I used to use drugs. I would like to tell all young people to keep away from using drugs.

D.R.

Dear D.R.,

Some drug users are not aware that using them can affect their sex life. When I was a young counsellor, one of the persons I was counselling told me that the most enjoyable sex that she ever had was after using ganja. She became so high that she thought that she was in a different world. She had sexual intercourse after that, but it was never the same. Maybe that was what was happening to your ex-girlfriend when both of you were engaged in sex. Perhaps she felt that she was in a different world. I am happy that you were wise enough to end the relationship with this young woman. I hope that young people who have read your letter today will take heed and not engage in illicit drugs.

Pastor