Kinky boyfriend getting on my nerves

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old girl and I have a boyfriend. Both of us have been going together for one year and six months, but he has been getting on my nerves because he wants us to have sex every night, and he is kinky.

When we first got together, sex was exciting. He did everything, such as every position, and he showed me what I never knew was possible between a man and woman. He even wanted me to invite different girls to sleep with us and I told him no, and that I was afraid that I may catch a disease. I asked him if I could invite one of my past boyfriends to our bed and he said no, he could not deal with that. I told him the only way I would agree to have another girl come into our bed is if he would agree to have me invite one of my past boyfriends

Pastor, this man is kinky and I am embarrassed to tell you some of the things he has done to me in bed. He said he cannot have normal sex because that does not excite him. I consider him very weird. I had a difficult time sleeping every night in the nude, but now I have got accustomed to it. I have had to put plastic on the mattress because one night he wouldn't stop slapping my bottom until I agreed for him to urinate on me after we made love.

When he said what he wanted, I didn't understand. He kept saying that before we sleep he wanted the golden shower. To him that was fun. He urinated on me and I urinated on him. The sheets were soaked with urine but it did not catch the mattress because the mattress was protected.

I told one of my girlfriends about the practices of this man and she called me a whore. She said only whores will do these things and the men have to give them big money. I come from a very poor family. He has moved me out of the ghetto and we are living in a beautiful place. I only wish we can have normal relationship and normal sex. I don't mind doing something different now and them, but he wants something weird every night and I am not always up to it.

A

Dear A.,

You should not be forced by your boyfriend to subject yourself to kinky sex. I know that some women like the idea of doing different things while making love, but some men often take this thing to the extreme. No woman should be spanked or to be brought into subjection if she says no. Why should a man urinate on his woman after having sex with her or to demand that she urinates on him? That is so weird. People indeed do crazy things and say that is a part of love making.

When your boyfriend suggested that you invite one of your girlfriends to share your bed for a sexual encounter, you were wise enough to say no. You knew that he would not have agreed to allow another man to have sex with you in his presence.

I remember counselling a man who insisted that his wife should invite one of her friends for a threesome; his wife objected, but he insisted. She asked one of her male friends to come and when her husband saw the size of this man tool and how his wife was enjoying the sex act, he got very jealous because he said he has never heard her groan so much whenever the both of them had sexual intercourse. Now, he is blaming his wife for enjoying the very thing that he was not able to do as her husband. I told the man that he should not blame his wife, he brought that upon himself.

I am suggesting to you, dear lady, don't agree to everything your man wants to do. If he continues to insist that you should always subject yourself to kinky sex, you should leave him.

Pastor