Afraid my well-paid girlfriend will boss me around

Dear Pastor,

I am 28 years old and I am planning to get married next year, around Easter. My fiancee and I have had a relationship for a year. We believe that it is time for us to tie the knot.

My fiancee is five years older than I am. She has never had children. She is anxious to get married because she has two younger sisters who are married and have children. She is a Christian. Her sisters are not Christians, but they are very nice women. My girlfriend told me that I have led her astray, because it is since we are together that she has been having sex.

I have always wanted to marry a virgin and up to the time I met her, she was not sexually active. However, she was not a virgin. She had sex a couple times with two different men. I can say that I did not get a virgin, but I got one who was almost like a virgin, because she was not loose.

My fiancee earns much more than I earn. My friends told me that this is going to cause a problem because when a woman makes more money than her man, she feels that she can push him around. When I say that my fiancee makes more money than I, I mean she makes more than a $100,000 more than I do per month.

I do not want to make a mistake. I do not want to be bossed around by a woman, but I love this woman. I don't see how I can live without her.

We have already chosen the church where we would like to get married. She has picked out the ring, and her aunt sent pictures of wedding gowns and asked her to choose one.

I want to get married so that this woman could go back to her church and become active again. Is there anything wrong for a man to marry a woman who is older and who earns more than he does?

N.R.

Dear N.R.,

When I entered into the sacred ministry and was in training, Dr Slayton, who was one of my lecturers, told us in class that it is better for a man to marry a woman who is older than himself. I cannot remember the reasons he gave, but I remember those words from him.

I know it is a fact that women mature earlier than men. I do not know if that is one of the reasons. Some women are better at handling money than men. They are better savers. On the other hand, some women waste money because they are extravagant in just about everything.

Now, brother, if you love this woman, you don't need to worry about her being a few years older than you. Additionally, there is no reason for your to worry that your fiance earns much more money than you do. You should be very happy, because with the little you make and what she earns, both of you, contributing together, would go a long way in saving and investing. Save a good amount of money and buy a house, and pay your bills with ease.

The important question to ask is, does this woman respect you? Does she look at you as a real man? And does she treat you as a man, or as a boy? If you love her, marry her. I wish you well.

Pastor