Can’t close door when my boyfriend comes over

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I am living with my uncle and his wife. I have a boyfriend who is 26 years old.

I have known him since I was 18. He takes me out and he treats me well. But my uncle's wife does not like him. She said that she believes that my boyfriend is just using me because I don't have any education and he is a university graduate. My uncle told her that she should leave us alone. My uncle also gave me permission to have the guy come into my bedroom and his wife said that when she was my age, she couldn't take any man into her room. So she wants that when the guy comes for me, we must have my room door open. My boyfriend doesn't have anything against that because if my uncle and his wife are at home and my boyfriend comes into my room, we do not have sex when they are there. He takes me to a hotel.

I invited my boyfriend to meet my parents and they like him. My boyfriend plans to help me to go to college. I have six subjects. I am hoping to start college this year. My boyfriend's father is a businessman and his mother is a teacher. She is very nice to me and she is always warning her son not to get me pregnant. She told me that his father is very prominent in the church they attend, so if I become pregnant and we are not married, they would feel ashamed. So my boyfriend gave me money to purchase condoms.

My uncle's wife is miserable because she has not been able to get pregnant. My uncle has gone outside of the marriage and has two children. He is still with the children's mother. She and my uncle's wife are enemies because when the woman got pregnant first, my uncle's wife called her and cursed her and the woman called her a mule. I did not know these things, but my uncle told me that I should never respond to her. My uncle told me not to let her know that he told me. He is a real gentleman. He sees to it that I have money. I don't have to look to my boyfriend for any money although my boyfriend gives me some occasionally.

I would like to be a teacher. I am trying my best to be careful because I want my parents to be proud of me.

B.R.

Dear B.R.,

You are a wise young lady and evidently, your uncle loves you and has been good to you.

He respects you and you respect him. Your boyfriend seems to love you and means you well. Your parents appreciate him and that is so very good. Your boyfriend and you are wise enough not to have sex in your room while your uncle and his wife are there. His mother loves you and has appealed to her son not to get you pregnant, and that you must make sure that you protect yourself.

It is unfortunate that your uncle went outside of the marriage and fathered two children regardless of the circumstances. His wife would never be happy about that. Please, get yourself an education. If you study hard, you can become a very good teacher. I wish your boyfriend and you all the best. Bye-bye.

Pastor