Tired of being the side chick

Dear Pastor,

When I was younger, my boyfriend used to always ask me what I wanted for Christmas.

I used to tell him different things, but after listening to other women, I decided to ask him for big stuff. One year I asked him for a car and to my surprise, he bought me one; it was not new but it was in good shape. When I drove it to work, other employees envied me. So I decided to tell him that I needed my own apartment as my Christmas gift the following year.

As Christmas was drawing near and he did not say anything, I asked him why he hadn't asked me what I wanted for Christmas. He said it was my time to ask him what he needed, so I did. He said "I need a baby boy from you. So no more condoms until you get pregnant and give me a boy." I told him that he was unfair because he was married and he knew that I was not prepared to get pregnant by him.

This man treats me very well. When I met him, he said he was not getting along very well with his wife and he was hoping to divorce her. We have been going together for three years and as I see it, nothing has changed between him and his wife and they are still living together. Christmas is very close and I am planning to tell him that it is time for him to show me his divorce decree - otherwise our relationship cannot go on. He helps me to pay my rent and he takes very good care of me. But I am tired of just being his mistress. I need to be more than that to him.

I am 30 and he is 45; everything he owns is also in his wife's name. He says that she has improved; she does not nag him much any more. But I am planning to nag him because I want a ring from him. I am tired of waiting. The only thing that would prevent me from nagging him is if he would buy me an apartment, and he can because he is a builder. I cannot even take any chance for another man to come to see me because the people who live close to me would tell him. I cannot afford to lose him. Am I demanding too much from this man?

Anonymous

Dear Writer,

You have received big gifts from this man and now you are asking him to buy you an apartment.

Let's reason this matter out just a little bit. How much would an apartment cost? Let's say a two-bedroom apartment. That can go for over $30 million and it depends on the area. As the saying goes, 'location, location, location'. In some places, a two-bedroom can be sold for $40 million. So if you are the side chick of this man and you are asking him for an apartment or town house, your 'stomach' is very high.

I have known men who have given apartments to their sweethearts. You have probably heard about these men, so you are throwing out your request. If this man loves his family, he is not going to grant you this request. So hold on to your car and perhaps what you should do is think of ending the relationship with this man. As you can see, this man is not willing to give up his wife for you. Probably he lied to you when you first met him. But it is evident that he is comfortable with her. Why should he divorce his wife and come to you?

Some of you women are bold faced and you take all men as idiots. I say no more.

Pastor