Can’t wait to see ‘Christmas boyfriend’ again

Dear Pastor,

This month I am celebrating one year of meeting a man I fell in love with at a Christmas party. I went to the party with my girlfriend and this man was there.

He is from western Jamaica, but he was holidaying in Kingston. My girlfriend introduced me to him and we hit it off just like that. I enjoyed dancing with him. He is a good dancer. When it was time to eat, my friend was about to serve him before me and he told her that she should serve me first. I was very impressed with him.

When it was time to leave, he kissed me on my cheek and told me to call him when I got home. So as soon as I got home, I did exactly that; I called him and told him that I was very happy to meet him. We spent a long time on the telephone. Although he is from western Jamaica, he is studying in America. He told me that he loves me.

I don't think I am good enough for this man. His people are middle class and I come from a poor family. I have three brothers and two sisters. My sisters are not doing well. They are struggling to survive. My two sisters have become mothers, and their children's fathers are hardly giving them anything. They are bartenders. I have a brother who is a chef and he has helped me a lot.

My friend told me that I should hold on to this guy because he is decent and she will put in a good word for me. We went out twice and he never asked me for sex. He admitted that he has a girlfriend in America, but when the time comes for him to get married, he wants to marry a Jamaican. This man will be coming to Jamaica for the Christmas holiday and he wants to spend Boxing Day with me. He will spend Christmas Day in western Jamaica with his relatives, but Boxing Day is for us. He told me to prepare myself for anything. I know what that means. I told him that I will be ready, so this holiday is going to be very special for me.

I have gone out with different guys since I met this man who considers me to be his girlfriend, but I have not had sex with any of them. I am saving myself for this man. We will have a special celebration, because it would be one year since we met. I am hoping that his love for me is real, because I would love to go abroad and study. I told my folks about him, but they don't know him.

A.L.

Dear A.L.,

I observe that you have not given your age, nor the age of this man you met at the Christmas party. I am assuming that you are over 18.

You seem very excited about this man and the relationship that can be considered still new. I hope that he will continue to treat you with respect. You do not need to be worried about your background. You know that you do not consider yourself as middle class, but you don't have to be middle class to meet a good man.

I was listening some years ago to two politicians who were teasing each other, and both of them agreed that they married upwards. They were of a lower status and the women that they married were upper-middle class. One of these women was born in wealth and today she is considered a billionaire. One can never know what will happen if one is careful about how one lives.

You have not thrown yourself around with many guys. If this guy that you met has really fallen in love with you and will not fool you, consider yourself fortunate. He might be your future husband. Both of you may indeed get married, and the dream you have to live and study in America may be realised. Keep yourself well. I think you are hinting to me that both of you are going to end up in bed. I can only warn you to be very careful.

Pastor