Girlfriend doesn’t want me to snip it

Dear Pastor,

I am a 47-year-old male. I was married, but I lost my wife to cancer. We had three children together. They are doing very well. My eldest sister, who is not married, became a mother to these children. I rejoiced, because I did not want to bring any stranger into this house.

Recently, I got involved with a young woman, who is 33 years old, and I have been thinking about marrying her. She is the only woman since the death of my wife who has caught my eyes. She is a Christian, and a very active one. She gave birth to a child before she became a Christian.

I am not interested in having any more children, and I told her so. Nothing will change my mind about that. I am considering doing a vasectomy, but this young woman does not want me to do this operation because she heard that this operation may affect our sex life. We have studied about it together and we realise that it is not true. However, she does not want me to take the risk.

Sometimes I wonder whether my girlfriend believes that she could persuade me to impregnate her after we are married. I said that to her, but she said no, she is satisfied with the children I have and the one she has.

I love sex, so I would not do anything to affect my sex life, especially with this beautiful woman who I intend to be my wife. I respect this woman, and she respects me. She gets along very well with my sister, who plans to return to her home after we are married.

Recently, my girlfriend raised the matter of sin. She said it is a sin for a man to stop himself from having children. Please enlighten us on this topic, Pastor.

R.T.

Dear R.T.,

Tell the lady of your life that vasectomy will not affect your sex life. In fact, what it might do is to cause you to feel very comfortable in making love with her, because it will remove every fear of you getting her pregnant. The operation is very safe and it can be done in a doctor's office. Such operation is irreversible.

You say you love sex; vasectomy will not reduce your sex drive. Please encourage this woman to go with you to speak to the doctor who would be performing this operation on you.

I wish this woman and yourself lots of joy and happiness. I am glad both of you have found each other. As I go, let me say that I am so happy, also, that your eldest sister is playing a good role as guardian to your children. All the best, dear brother.

Pastor