Boyfriend sending nude pictures to another woman

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and living with my children's father. He is 15 years older than I am and we have been together for the past eight years.

My problem is that he keeps acting as if he is still in his 20s and is not willing to fully settle down. It has now come to my attention that he is fooling around with a young lady who is three years younger than I am, and he keeps telling me that they are just friends. But I have seen where they exchanged nude pictures, and he has been sending her money whenever he's overseas.

Sometimes I feel disrespected and unwanted, because he chats with her in my presence and acts as if I am not there. I want to leave but I have no one else to turn to, or a place to go. I need your advice, please.

J.P.

Dear J.P.,

You started living with this man from you were very young. You have not said anything about your background. Therefore, you were probably forced to leave your parents' home, if you were living with them. You have given this man some of your best years, but he has not cherished them because he is fooling around other women. He doesn't care about how you feel.

Based on his behaviour, you know that he is not satisfied with having only you in his life. To him, it does not matter whether or not you are aware that he is exchanging nude pictures with another woman.

You have seen enough to know that there is no future with this man. You have not said how many children both of you have together. But I believe that you would be better off if you try and get yourself a job and rent a small apartment, somewhere where you can pay your rent without a strain. You should ask relatives to help you, and you should take this man to court for maintenance of the children. You should not continue to make him feel that you cannot do without him. You must stop believing that you have nowhere else to go, and you must start believing in yourself.

If you do not have a skill, you must consider going to the HEART/NSTA Trust. You are only 24 years old, so stop thinking that you should be pitied. You have written a pretty good letter to me, so I know for sure that you are not a fool. If you consider yourself a dunce, I can assure you that you are not. I wish you well. I would be glad to hear from you again.

Pastor