Boyfriend had sex with my sister

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 and I have a sister who is 26. We got along well, but not any more.

I am living with my boyfriend, who is 28. He is paying for me to go back to school. My sister lives with our parents. She came to spend time with me and to help me celebrate my 24th birthday. My boyfriend planned a surprise dinner for me at a club and restaurant. We had dinner and Champagne. I am not a good drinker. My boyfriend took us home and he said I should just go and sleep. I went straight to bed. Early in the morning I woke up to use the bathroom and I saw my boyfriend and my sister having sex. I was so shocked that I shouted out to them.

I went back into our room and told myself this shouldn't be going on. I went back and they were still having sex. So I took my boyfriend's belt, gave him a big hit, and he stopped. My sister was naked and when I asked her how she could do that to me, she said she was drunk and my boyfriend seduced her, stripped her, and started to have sex with her. She said she didn't know what to do, so she allowed him.

My boyfriend told me that he felt for sex and he couldn't manage to hold it, and she agreed. I couldn't control myself. I grabbed my sister and started to fight her. My boyfriend started to slap me, and told me to behave myself. I put on my clothes and started to cry. In the morning, she told me that I should not tell anybody. I thought about boiling water and pouring it on him. I would have felt better if he had gone with another girl. I cannot forgive him for having sex with my sister.

Pastor, I believe that my sister is telling the truth when she said he came on to her, but she should have fought him off. Now he is telling me that my sister says she has missed her period and might be pregnant. He said if she is, I have to leave so she can come to the house. I told him, "Over my dead body." I told him that I will never allow him to take over my sister, and she will never take my place.

I called my sister and asked her if it is true that she has not seen her period and she said yes; but if it doesn't come, she will go to the doctor. If the doctor confirms pregnancy, she said she will have an abortion, so I do not need to worry. I am worried because she and I were very close. I told my boyfriend not to touch me; and I am telling you now, Pastor, I will cut his penis off.

S.B.

Dear S.B.,

Before this incident, you enjoyed a very good relationship with your sister and your boyfriend.

He showed his love for you, and he also expressed that love in sending you back to school. He planned a little night out to celebrate your birthday. You drank too much and, evidently, so did your sister. You became drunk, and I am sure that you could not fully control yourself. So when your boyfriend took everybody home and put you to bed, he took advantage of the situation. It could be very true that he felt for sex, and he saw that your sister was available and he took advantage.

Your sister found herself in a place where she could not resist your boyfriend. Your boyfriend did a very wicked thing. He wasn't drunk; he knew what he was doing, but he didn't care. I am going to beg you to have mercy on your sister. Some readers may not agree with me. I am not saying that what she did was right. What I am trying to say is, your boyfriend took advantage of her, and he behaved as if he didn't care. He could not even think of using protection.

Now, what should you do if your sister is indeed pregnant? Do not get yourself into trouble by carrying out your threat. Let his penis remain intact. But you don't have to have sex with him any more. He has threatened to throw you out of the house. Live on your own volition; and please remember that he is not the only man in the world. I do not believe that your sister would agree to have any further relationship with him. She would be too ashamed to live with him. So what if your sister is not pregnant and he wants to continue with you? What should you do? I say, stand your ground; break up with this man. He is not a man who you can trust, so leave him.

Pastor