Wish I had married sooner

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column, and I have been reading from the time you started to write.

I used to say that I would never get married, but by reading your column, I have learnt that it is better for a man to get married and to live a stable life. I have six children with four different women. I am 55 years old. I love all my children. I do not earn a lot of money, but I have tried to support my children the best way I can.

Two of my children are teachers, and only two of them are with us. They are grown up. Their mother and I don't always see eye to eye, but we do not fight. Both of us like politics, but we support different parties. One of my children is very active in politics and her boyfriend is very active, too. If things continue the way how I see it's going, I may have a politician who would be in the Houses of Parliament.

We have been trying to build a house and my children are assisting us. We got married four years ago; I regret that I did not marry her before. I know that they are not going to come here to live, but they said they would want us to be comfortable, and I would do anything to make my wife comfortable, too. I don't run around any more. I go to my church every Sunday. The only time my wife does not accompany me to church is when she has to attend her political meetings. I don't go to those places on a Sunday, but she does.

How do you see things going in Jamaica today? Some people say the future is not bright at all. I know you don't say much on politics, but I would like to know how you feel.

J.D.,

Dear J.D.,

I always encourage men to get married. That does not mean that I don't recognise that it is better for some men not to get married.

If a man knows that he does not believe that he should support a woman, he should remain single. If a woman believes that she should not listen and consider her husband as the head, she should not get married. If a woman does not have pride in her home and take care of the home, keep it clean and honour her husband and take care of his needs, she should not get married.

If a man only believes that a woman is just someone with whom he should have sex and he can push her around, he should not get married. A man has an obligation to take care of his woman, to support her financially, and to meet her every need. If he's not prepared to do these things, he should remain single. Therefore, I am glad that you came to realise that you needed a good woman in your life, and you eventually settled with the one who loves her politics. She has a right to support whatever party she loves; let her have fun that way.

One of the children is following her in the political arena. Don't discourage him or her. Take good care of the family my friend. Let me hear from you again.

The cost of living in Jamaica is still very high, as is the murder rate. Some people are doing well financially, but others are not. But we should never give up on beautiful Jamaica. We must work hard and encourage each other to do our best. Change will come, but it will not happen overnight.

Pastor