Wife left me because I’m a one-minute man

Dear Pastor,

I greet you as a regular reader of your column. I know you because you officiated at my wedding 10 years ago.

What I remember well is that you gave us good counselling on our wedding day, and you continue to encourage my wife and I to put God first. Sad to say the report I have to make to you is not very good. What started out as a beautiful relationship has deteriorated. I am now suffering.

My wife has become a cheater and she is not afraid to tell me that I have driven her to it. I have done my best to provide for her and that is not the issue. My wife is 65 and I am 70. We used to attend church every Sunday, but my wife barely goes now. She said she cannot be a hypocrite. Both of us have retired. My wife likes to travel, but I do not. She has two daughters living in America and they have been encouraging her to leave Jamaica, and come to live with them. That has been the encouragement that she has been getting from them for a long time. She used to tell them that she cannot leave me, but now she has changed.

A few months ago, she went to America. She said she was going to be there for two weeks, but that turned to three weeks and then to four weeks. When I asked her when she was coming back, she said she did not know; she may not even return. I asked her why and she said she would tell me at another time. So I called her back later that night and when she answered, I could hear a man's voice in the background. I asked her who it was, and if that was the man she in seeing in America. She said yes. She said she was seeing him because he was not like me; I am a one-minute man, and this guy is younger and is able to take her on a journey and satisfy her.

I could not sleep when I realised this was my wife talking to me that way. I tried to talk to her children and one of them said plainly "Don't you see that mommy doesn't want you any more because you are an old man and she wants to enjoy the rest of her life?" I have given my wife everything that I know a man should do for his woman. She came back to Jamaica without informing me and she took away all the important documents that I had in the house, and took half of the money that I had in the account.

My heart is broken. I did not want to think of having another woman in my life. I did not think that my wife would want to have a younger man in her life, but her children are all in favour of her leaving me.

Depressed

Dear Depressed.,

You have lost your wife and you are feeling depressed. Her children have been encouraging her to leave you and come and live with them.

She has finally made up her mind to leave and she has found another man who loves her and who can do much better in bed than you are not able to do. Therefore, she will not return to you. This man is not only younger, but stronger than you, and can give her, excuse my language, a harder ride than you. That is what she wants. You may consider her to be ungrateful, but dry your tears; life is not always fair. You have done your very best for her, but she does not care about you any more.

She came back to Jamaica and she went into the house, took away what she wanted and took money from the account without your knowledge. She only took half of what was in the account. She could have taken more, but she didn't want to leave you broke. So don't fret, you will survive.

I suggest therefore that you go to see a lawyer for some guidance because for sure, this marriage will end in divorce.

Pastor