Girlfriend loves her phone more than me

Dear Pastor,

I am really wondering why I am so unfortunate whenever I am having a relationship with a woman.

I am 29 and I have only been in a few relationships. I respect women, but all I seem to get is lies and cheating in return. I am now living with a young woman who I really love. She got a new phone, but before she got it, everything was OK. She now spends less time with me and whenever she is on her phone, she hides and texts. If she gets a voicenote which is not from her mom, she turns the volume down so I cannot hear it. I confronted her about it and she said that she's not hiding anything and she is not cheating. But all these things are signs of cheating.

I have lost trust in her and no matter how I explain to her that whatever she is doing is wrong, she doesn't do anything to change. So really and truly, she prefers whosoever she is on the phone with than me, who is supposed to be her man. Her dirty ways are driving me crazy, but I continue to hurt myself because I love this girl. From my point of view, she doesn't care about me or my feelings because if we are in a relationship, we should be quick to fix a problem and to make sacrifices for our relationship to be healthy. We should do that instead of having arguments that lead to harsh words being said, even though they have no meaning, and doing actions which are wrong and then living to regret them. But this girl doesn't view things like an adult. She has this childish mentality and is so into herself that even when she is wrong and she knows it, she doesn't say sorry.

I worry if she will ever change because if you do love someone and you are doing things to make that person uncomfortable, you should try to stop. Even if you can't stop a 100 per cent, you should at least let that person know that you are trying to change, so they will see that you truly love them. I am really frustrated but I love her. Other females give me attention but I am not interested in them because I love this girl and I am not a cheater. I do everything to make this girl I am living with feel comfortable, but in return all I receive from her is disrespect. Please give me your advice.

T.

Dear T.,

You claim that you are in love with this woman, but what makes it so difficult for you to see that this woman does not love you or respect you?

You should end the relationship with her right away and move on. You are not behaving as a 29-year-old man. This woman does not want you. She does not love you. She's probably sticking around with you because of the financial benefits she gets from you. If you continue to stay with her, she will suck you dry.

No intelligent man would stay with a woman who constantly insults him by her very behaviour. It is time for you to understand that if she has not yet established another relationship with a man, she is close to it. Stop making yourself a fool and move on. I repeat, this woman does not love you. If you are a Jamaican man, you are causing all Jamaican men to look at you as a fool.

You want this woman to change but what you need to do is to change your foolish ways and drop the woman now.

Pastor