Boyfriend refuses to touch me

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19. I got pregnant when I was 17. I am now living with my boyfriend and my six-month-old daughter. I am having a problem.

My boyfriend refuses to touch me. He said that he doesn't want to get me pregnant again because we are not financially ready, and I understand that. I do not want to use contraceptives, because I don't want them to affect me physically. But even though I am willing to use condoms, he still won't touch me.

I am sexually frustrated in the relationship. It's not all about sex, but I get sexual urges and I don't know what to do. I don't want to cheat on him because I love him, but he doesn't want to touch me and I'm tired of it. I tried talking to him about it, but he just sticks to his position

R.

Dear R.,

Your boyfriend is scared that if both of you should have sex, he may impregnate you again. You told him that you are willing to have him use the condom, but he doesn't want to do so.

He has his reasons, but he has not shared them with you. Some men do not like to use condoms, for different reasons. But this young man has to use common sense. It would be very easy for him to get you pregnant again if both of you do not use protection.

You say you have sexual urges; that is natural. I know I can make certain suggestions to you, but I do not wish to be too explicit in my column. These are not the days when a woman should allow herself to be pregnant if she does not wish to be. So I would suggest that both of you make an appointment to see a family counsellor and talk to him or her in person, and make a decision for what is the best thing for both of you to do. Perhaps after your boyfriend has heard from a professional, he will be willing to do what is necessary to avoid getting you pregnant. I wish you well.

Pastor