Boyfriend got a woman pregnant while I was overseas

Dear Pastor,

I have been in a relationship for the past two years. In April 2022, I left to go overseas to work for three months. When I came back in July, I noticed that there was this girl texting my boyfriend.

I went into his phone and I read all the messages between the girl and my boyfriend. The girl told him that she was pregnant by him. This girl is married and she lives with her husband. She had the baby a few months ago. She registered the baby in her husband's name. She paid to get a DNA test done and the results showed that my boyfriend is the father of the child.

I told my boyfriend that the child is not welcome at the home where we are living. The only children who are welcome here are his two children that I he had before he met me. The problem is that my boyfriend and this woman continue to communicate every day. When I talk about it, he says that she is telling him about the baby. They call each other frequently and spend a long time on the phone.

D.

Dear D.,

According to you, this woman has given her husband a 'jacket'. That is so very common in Jamaica. Women become pregnant by other men and instead of admitting what has happened, they register the child/children in their husband's name.

And the husbands are unaware that they did not impregnate their wives. Some of them, after they became aware of the true paternity, continue to support the child/children as their own. Some never became aware. Sometimes, the people in the community know that the husband is not the father and they laugh at those men. But these men carry on and support the child/children. This woman that you have written about knows the truth, but she is keeping her husband in the dark. You know the truth, and you have warned your boyfriend not to bring that child to your home. How has he responded to what you have told him? Why should he not bring the child to where he lives? Should he not encourage the mother to tell her husband about her infidelity which has resulted in the birth of this child? Perhaps her husband would forgive her and continue to accept the child as his very own. I know that there is a risk in telling that man that she has deceived him, but how can she live with her conscience?

Many other women have lied and seem to be doing well. But the children deserve to know the truth. Some men have declared that they will never support another man's child. But men who have not been able to impregnate their wives have accepted what their wives have done with a smile. You should not insist that this man should never take his child home. This child should know his/her siblings, and that is how I see it.

Pastor