Tempted to cheat because my wife is abroad

Dear Pastor,

I have two children. But the relationship with their mother is very shaky. She went to spend time with her mother in America.

She said it would only be for two weeks, but the two weeks have extended to six months. That was not our plans; at least it was not my understanding that she would be away for so long. After the two weeks had expired, she told me she had got a little job, so she was asking me to allow her to stay for at least a month. I told her I missed her and the children needed her, and we could do without the money that she was earning, so she should come home.

She got one of her sisters to talk to me. I told her sister that she should see to it that my girlfriend returned. As I said, it has now been six months and she is not here. It is costing me lots of money to have somebody stay here, because I am a security guard and I have to be at work, sometimes at nights. My children's grandmother cannot always keep the children during the night, so it is very hard on me. This is why some men get involved with other women when their children's mothers go away and leave the children on them. My wife seems not to care whether I get another woman. She is asking me for more time, because she wants to buy a car when she comes back to Jamaica. She is tired of taking the bus.

I am going to say this, Pastor, one of the girls who has stayed here with the children is my wife's cousin. I have to have self-control because she is very good-looking, and I am tempted to ask her to sleep with me. I have never done it, but I am tempted. I know that she would agree, and if that happens, everybody will curse me and say I am no good. But they would not know what I am going through.

I am trying to be faithful to my children's mother. I am coming to the place where I feel that she is taking advantage of me. I would like you to give me your advice.

R.R.

Dear R.R.,

Try your very best not to get involved with another woman. Your wife is not using common sense. Her relatives in America should not be encouraging her to overstay her time, which she has already done. She should respect you and honour you. She should be eager to return to Jamaica to take care of her children. You say that you believe one of the women who is assisting you with the children would be happy to have an affair with you. I suppose you are correct, especially if you offer her money.

Continue to impress on your wife that you need her to come home. I hope she will do so very soon.

Pastor