Afraid to say a married man got me pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for your advice. I am 17 years old and I have found myself in a jam. I am living with my parents and I have let them down by getting pregnant.

They had big plans for me. They were looking forward to seeing me go on to university and graduate. Now I cannot even think about going that way.

I secretly had a boyfriend. I knew he was married when we got involved, but he used to give me anything I asked for and it was hard for me to let him go. Sometimes I used to skip school and go with him to the country, because he is a salesman. Before we got back to Kingston, we used to go to hotels and have sex. I never turned him down. I always enjoyed having sex with him. Fifty thousand dollars is not too much for him to give me, but he always insisted that I should not spend it all on hair and nails.

One day, my mother asked me where I got so much money. She had to go in my bag and she saw an envelope with a lot of money in it. I had to lie that it was not my money. But she also saw two panties in my bag and she questioned me about them. I always travel with an extra pair of panties, so I told my mother that she was the one who taught me to carry an extra panty in my bag because I never know what may happen to me, that I may have to change my underwear.

Pastor, I am pregnant, and since it was confirmed I cannot sleep. This man is 30 years old. He asked me if I wanted to do an abortion and I told him no, because I would want my soul to be saved; and my mother always said abortion is murder. He warned me not to call his name, but I have no other name to call because he is my only boyfriend. I don't know what to do.

My first boyfriend and I broke up long ago. He took my virginity. He was only two years older and he did not have anything to give me. But this other man had more than enough. I have made a big mistake. I don't know how to get out of it. But he told me that if I call his name, he is going to deny that he got me pregnant, because I am just a schoolgirl and his wife is going to be angry with him. He has two other children. So, Pastor, I am looking for you to give me some advice.

M.

Dear M.,

What you have tried to tell me is that you have been a very, very bad girl. When you should have been in school, you were up and down with this married man.

He won your heart by giving you lots of money and by taking you to hotels in rural Jamaica. But this man is also a very wicked man. Would he want to know that his daughter was with a man when she should have been in school? I understand that some of you schoolgirls change your uniform and dress in different clothes when you are going out with men. But again, I say, this man is wicked. He did not try to protect you by using protection.

Now that he knows you are pregnant, he is warning you not to call his name. But hear me now, tell your parents the truth; let them know that he got you pregnant. Don't be concerned about how he is going to deal with his wife. When you have given birth, it would be easy for you to prove that he is the biological father of the child.

Your parents had good plans for you. Yes, you have let them down, but you can resume your studies after you have given birth. I wish you well, and that is all I have to say right now.

Pastor