Saving my virginity for my husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I started to read your column when I was in my teens. It was introduced to me by my boyfriend and until now I have not stopped reading it.

I broke up with the guy who introduced your column to me. We were not even friends for long and he tried to rape me. I told him I was not ready to have sex with him. I kept telling him no, but he wouldn't stop. I bit him on one of his fingers and he let me go. After that happened, he tried to get back to me, but my mind was turned from him.

I became a Christian and I got baptised. I have one year to finish my degree at The University of the West Indies. I have met many guys, but as soon as they date you once, they want to get under your skirt. Even some guys who say they are Christians cannot be trusted. I am seeing a guy now, and he is living with his aunt. When he introduced me to her, she said "Another one again," and he was embarrassed. He told her "This one is for real." She told me "Don't let him fool you; he has many girlfriends."

After we left, I told him that if I had known that he had many girlfriends, I would not have come with him to meet his aunt, but I thank her for putting me on my guard. He said he knew the girls, but he was not having sex with them and he was very upset with what his aunt said. He is 24 years old and a very handsome guy. He said no man is going to marry me unless I agree to go to bed with them first.

BE CAREFUL

My father is a preacher and he is always telling me to be careful what I do and don't allow him to feel embarrassed. I have a younger sister and she, too, is trying to keep her head up. All these guys want to sample what I have. I tell them all the time that my private part is too private to allow any man to sample it, and I want to keep it intact for my husband.

The Bible says premarital sex is wrong. But I do want to ask this question: if a girl is going with a man and they are engaged, and the date is set for her wedding, is it still wrong for her to have sex with him? I will be looking out for your answer.

C.L.

Dear C.L.,

Whether you are engaged to be married or not, the Bible says sex outside of marriage is wrong. You have been trying to keep yourself and to walk uprightly.

Don't allow men to have their way with you. You have already bitten a man, he will never forget that. Another guy took you to his home and his aunt told you that he has had lots of women. She knows some of them because he brought them to her house. That was enough warning to you not to go further with this man.

This guy told you nobody is going to marry you unless they 'sample it'. He is out of order. You are a Christian lady; try to live as a Christian. It is not going to be easy for you, but you can do it if you try. Your parents, especially your father, will be proud of you. I know that it would be a joy for him to escort you down the aisle as a virgin. I will be praying for you.

Pastor