Worried about the baby weight

Dear Pastor,

I listen to your programme every night and it is so enjoyable. I know many of your callers by name. I want to thank you for conducting a very good programme.

It is helpful and informative. I am from Jamaica, but my parents brought me to America when I was 10; now I am 24. But Jamaica is, and always will be, my country.

I got married a year and a half ago to a young man I met while attending college. He is not a Jamaican. The only thing that gives him away is his accent. He treats me well. He loves to cook. Now that I am pregnant, he treats me as if I am helpless. Wherever I want to go, he does not want me to drive; he takes me. I think his only disappointment with me now that I am pregnant, is that I am carrying a girl and he wanted a boy. Both of us are young, so I told him we can try for the boy next time.

My parents love this man so much. They call him their son. My father has a very good job; it pays well. When I became pregnant, my father promised that he would help us to buy a house in Georgia. That is where my husband wants us to live.

I have a good job and I am earning a little more than my husband, and right now we can live on one salary. So I save mine and he uses his to pay all the bills. That was an understanding we had before we got married. My challenge is to get back to the figure I used to have before I got pregnant. My doctor says I need not worry, I can go back to my regular diet after I have given birth. Everywhere on my body is big. I want to get back to looking like a slim chick again. My husband likes slim women. But putting on lots of weight is what I have to deal with now that I am pregnant.

My husband has promised me that he will not look at any other woman, although I am very large at the moment. I hope to give birth in August. I am dying to do so.

B.S.

Dear B.S.,

I am glad that you have a good husband and he has assured you that he will not look at another woman. I hope he means that he will not get sexually involved with any other woman.

For a man not to look at another woman would be unusual, because all men admire women. To look at a woman does not mean to be sexually involved with her, because women are naturally beautiful, and men will always admire them. But that does not mean that all men will become intimate with them.

I am glad, also, to know that your husband gets along very well with your parents and that they think highly of him, and have even offered to help both of you buy a house in Georgia. Many Jamaicans love Georgia. So in the years ahead, you may find yourself in good company. Homes are cheaper there, and if you like gardening, you may be able to do a little farming around your house.

It is natural for most women to put on weight when they are pregnant. So you should not fret about that at all. Your husband wanted a son, but don't be surprised if after his daughter is born, he loves her so much that he may ignore you sometimes, because he will be so taken up with her. I hope he will keep a balance and give you the time that you need.

I love what both of you are doing. You are not wasting the money that you earn. I have told couples on numerous occasions that if it is possible, they should learn to live on one salary and save the other. That is what you are doing. I wish you well; take care of yourself.

Pastor