Wary of five-time divorcee

Dear Pastor,

I am in my late 50s. I have never been married, but recently, I have come to realise that I need a partner in my life. I met a woman on social media and we have been talking. Perhaps I told her too many things about myself, but I don't regret doing so, because I found out that this woman, who is living in America, has been married and divorced five times.

When she told me that she was divorced, I told her that I don't believe in divorce. She said some men are wild. And all the men who came into her life were wild. None of them kept one woman, so that is why she had to divorce them. Five men, Pastor, five men! She said if I am a true man, and would only have her as my wife, then we could live happily together.

I would not want this woman to come to Jamaica and to tell anybody that she was married five times. She has three children and they are all adults. I have three children, too, and I am having problems because this woman is living abroad. My children are living abroad, also. I have my own house in Jamaica. The only problem I have is to visit a foreign land and to return to Jamaica. I don't wish to live abroad.

This woman is eager to meet my children and to visit me in Jamaica. My children are planning to have my 60th birthday party in Jamaica. This lady says she must be there. I am not sure that I want her at my birthday party. I am in the process of adding another room to my house. I have a two-bedroom house with two bathrooms. I would like to add another room with a bathroom so that my children can be comfortable and entertain their friends when they're in Jamaica.

I read your column every day, so that is why I turn to you for advice. What could cause a woman to get married and divorced five times?

R.

Dear R.,

To some people, marriage is not sacred. When it was instituted by the Lord Himself, it was considered sacred. In fact, some religions consider it a sacrament. In the Old Testament, divorce was never encouraged, although it was allowed. In responding to the query, Jesus said about divorce, from the beginning it was not so, but due to the disobedience of man, Moses allowed divorce.

You asked the question, What would cause a woman to be divorced five times? There is no easy answer to that. However, there are some women who do not care to work with men, especially men who earn less than they do or men who are not as educated as they are. Some women are happy to be divorced because they can live on alimony, and the alimony is granted to them by the court.

I know you are a grown man and you would ultimately have to make your own decision concerning your future, but I am suggesting that you discuss this matter with your children; get their opinion. I would like to know that when you are married, you will be a happy man, but talk to your kids about it.

Pastor