American man fooled me with bogus marriage

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 and I can call myself a married woman, but I have not seen my husband in three years. This man came to Jamaica and I married him.

He told me he was never married and he was in love with me. He was staying at a certain guest house and I was living with my parents. So after he was here for a week, he told my father that he would like to marry me. I asked my father if he could stay with us and my father said that would be wise because he would be saving some money.

The man bought a ring, we went to see a marriage officer and the marriage was arranged. When we got married, the marriage officer gave us a certificate. He said I should let him have the certificate because he was going to need it to apply for my green card. All that time, I thought this man was genuine. I wasn't smart enough to photocopy the certificate. From the day that man left Jamaica, I have not heard from him. I found out also that the marriage was not registered, so I was not able to get a copy of the certificate. I cannot find the marriage officer.

I found another man who is genuine and who would like to marry me. But I was told that no marriage can take place because I was already married. I also went to the guest house this man was staying at and when I gave them his name, they told me that nobody was staying there by that name, so he must have been a crook. I used to worry about this situation, but I don't any more because I have come to realise that some of these men who come to Jamaica and get involved with women, lied to us. They are not truthful. I do not even have a photograph of this man. He sounded so genuine; I thought I had met a real man. I cannot find the people who acted as witnesses. I wonder if there is any way you can help me.

I do not have children; I have given up on that now, but I want to be free. I would love to come to see you if you can help me. I would also love to bring the man who is in love with me.

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Some people reading your letter would say that you don't have any sense, but I am not prepared to say that. There are many crooks around.

I have been warned about these people who come to Jamaica from North America and lie about themselves. They fool our lovely Jamaican woman and some of our women are so gullible that they believe every nonsense that some men tell them. I am going to be frank with you; even in the so-called religious world, there are men who pretend to be legal marriage officers, but they are not.

I remember some years ago when a woman complained to me that she got married and I asked her who officiated her wedding. She said she did not know the name of the marriage officer. I asked her if this so-called marriage officer gave her a certificate and she said her husband took it. She has never been able to get a certified copy of that certificate, neither has she ever found her so-called husband.

I took the liberty once to call one of the men who married one of our girls and he answered the phone. But as soon as he realised that I called him, that was the end of it; he hung up. He never returned the call. To my knowledge, to this very day she has not heard a word from him. He was a grown man and he was not sending anything for her, but he had promised her silver and gold which she never got. Some of these men come to Jamaica and use wrong names to get married and leave the women in Jamaica in much grief.

I know that if you had the proper information, the Registrar General's Department would have tried to help you, but you do not have anything. So listen to me now, I cannot help you. Please do not waste your time by coming to see me. Go and see a lawyer, and he or she might be able to advise you appropriately.

Pastor