Side man has more money than my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am just 20 and I am tied up with a man who is 24. He is living with his babymother, but he is of great help to me.

When I first met him, I told him that I did not want any man who had children. He said that as I am a young girl, he understood how I would feel about that, but his babymother wouldn't have anything to do with us. Unless he talked about us to anybody, she wouldn't know about me. I needed the help, so we became friends with benefits. I see him every weekend, because that is the arrangement. Where he takes me to have sex, the people have got to know me and our room is always very clean and fresh. One evening we went there and one of the ladies told us to stay in our car because the room was used a few hours ago and she wanted to change everything.

I have a 20-year-old boyfriend. He is a nice guy, but his pocket is very weak. He cannot give me what I really want. This other guy is a businessman. He can more than afford to take care of me. But he is also very afraid of his babymother because she can hurt him. He is aspiring to become a politician. I don't know his babymother and I don't care to know her, either. Sometimes when I have sex with this man, he wears two condoms for extra protection. My boyfriend wears only one. He gives me money every week to take care of my nails and my hair. This older man gives me much more, so I am not hungry. I go out with my boyfriend, but I don't go out with the other guy because he does not want us to be seen together, and that doesn't bother me at all.

My mother knows that I have a boyfriend, but she doesn't know anything about the aspiring politician. I do not like his party, so whenever politics comes up, I tell him to change the topic. He is a nice guy and he can be very exciting. I can work with him. I will never embarrass him. We have an understanding that if I want to leave him, I can do so. But right now he does not know that I have another boyfriend. Sometimes I make $30,000 from these two men.

V.E.

Dear V.E.,

You are only 20, and what I would like to say is that you are practising prostitution. You have your regular boyfriend and you are not satisfied with just having him, because he is not able to give you lots of money.

So you are going with another man, and both of you have an understanding that the friendship has benefits. Whenever he wants you, he will get you; and whenever you want him, you will get him. He gets sex from you, but you will get money from him, so both of you will benefit. You may not like me to say it, but prostitutes do the same.

pride

On the Dear Pastor Show, callers who know about prostitution told me that some prostitutes have their regulars, and when their regulars don't have money, they get sex from these women for free. Why should a 20-year-old engage herself with a man who already has his woman and they have a child together? You don't have much pride, if any at all, because workers at the motel know you very well. They know the time you will come there, so they prepare for you. Why do you have to be living that type of life?

This aspiring politician is endeavouring not to get you pregnant, so he uses two condoms together. Please tell him that using two condoms together in one sexual encounter may cause breakage; they are rubbing together.

Your mother knows your boyfriend. May I encourage you to stick with him and drop the aspiring politician? Change your attitude towards men. Get yourself a job and earn your own money. Be careful. You are not developing a good reputation at all. Be satisfied with the little money you get from your boyfriend.

Pastor