Boyfriend keeps asking about my sexual past

Dear Pastor,

I am a 42-year-old woman and I am divorced. The man I am going with now is 45 years old. The relationship is still young; only six months old.

But I am getting tired of this man questioning me in the most intimate way. I have already told him that I am not seeing anybody except him; that, I think, he has accepted. But he constantly questions me about my sex history.

The first time we met and we went out to dinner, I saw an old friend and we greeted each other at the restaurant. My date asked me if that man was one of the guys I used to go with. I told him no and then I asked him if it would have made a difference if that guy and I had gone out and even made love. The man behaved as a child.

I don't question him about his past. He has five children and they were not with one woman. It doesn't bother me at all because these children are grown and I know he is not a saint. I am not a saint, either. I told him that if he doesn't stop questioning me, I am going to stop talking to him. Why would a man want me to tell him whether I have fantasies at my age and whether I still masturbate? He got very angry because I told him recently that it is not his business.

I have one daughter and she likes this man, but I do not discuss any sexual thing with my daughter, because I am a grown woman. One of the things that drew me to him is because he does not ask me for any financial help, and I like that. Some of the guys who have tried to take me out, after a few dates, they ask me for help and that turns me off.

So please, Pastor, tell me how I can handle this man. I am at the place now where I feel that I should just tell him off and let him go about his business.

F.N.

Dear F.N.,

This man friend of yours is still a boy. He does not recognise you as a grown woman. You should blame yourself, because from the very day he questioned you about your past, you should have told him that you do not discuss your past with anyone. Whatever you have done in the past cannot be undone. You can also add that you are surprised that he tried to ask you embarrassing questions, and you will not allow him to visit you any more, neither would you go out with him. Mature men don't ask the questions that he is asking, and you do not have to answer his foolish questions.

Pastor