I’d rather stay single than marry this woman

Dear Pastor,

I am 50 years old and I am a widower. I was married for 10 years, but cancer took my wife away from me. I do not know when I will overcome this great loss.

My children talk to me every day and that makes me very happy. Recently, I attended a conference, and I met a woman who I thought was admiring me. During lunch time, we sat together and ate, then we sat together again for supper. She told me that she was going to be 51 on her next birthday. So I ordered a lovely fruit basket and sent it to her. I also bought a birthday card for her.

But this woman has insulted me by calling me on my phone and telling me that she is a grown woman and I should have sent her a better gift for her birthday. Sending her a fruit basket was an insult? I never thought that was an insult. I apologised to her and told her that that would never happen again. I asked her what she expected and she said a big woman wants something that is more tangible.

Pastor, I don’t trust this woman. I stopped calling her, but she keeps calling me. She came to my house and she sees what I have here, so I believe that she has an eye on my place. I rather not get married again if I have to share this place with a woman. My late wife and I were in our teens when we fell in love. When we got married, she was 20 and I was 22. A better wife I could not find. Whatever we have belongs to the children and no one else.

Do you think that I am wrong to be thinking this way? I would not even take this woman out for dinner anywhere. She may think that where I take her is too low class. Tell me how you feel about what she told me.

F.

Dear F.,

I commend you for dropping this lady as a friend, she is too bold and out of order.

Even if she thought that you could have given her a more expensive gift, she should have shown appreciation for what you gave her. I believe that you are correct. She visited your house and she admired the place and probably would love if you could propose to her right away, marry her and bring her in. That type of woman shouldn’t enjoy what you have laboured and built. I am tempted to say that she is a ‘licky licky’ woman.

This woman was probably trying to say to you that if you were showing an interest in her, you would have to consider buying her a townhouse or an apartment. Maybe you chatted about what you have in the bank, and by doing so, you might have given yourself away. I am not saying you did, I am just saying perhaps.

Pastor