Worried my queen has found another man

Dear Pastor,

Greetings and peace profound, I am one of your fans. I have been following you in the newspaper and on radio.

I am a Rasta man. I have visited your church and I have listened to you preach. Keep up the good work. I am 40 and a vegetarian. I am living with my queen and we have two sons. My queen is not a Rasta and we have not been growing our children as Rastas. We are allowing them to make their own decision. When people see me, they wouldn’t believe that I am a Rasta because I don’t grow my hair long.

My queen cooks my meal in a separate pot. I eat everything fresh. My queen went overseas last December and took the two boys with her. Since she has returned, she is a changed woman. Every day she is in my skin telling me that the cost of living is too high in Jamaica and we should plan to leave because the opportunities are greater there for all of us.

I have a brother who lives in America, and he went to see the children and my queen. I told him what she has been saying since she returned. He told me that when a woman begins to talk that way, she has found another man. My brother told me that my queen’s sister is a hot girl and I should not allow my queen to go back and stay at her house.

I asked my boys if their mother went out with any man and they said no, but she always went out with their aunt who is the hot girl. I do not know what to say because I have always trusted her. I told her whenever she is going back to America, I would accompany her but she wants to know why. I have never been to America. I don’t even have a visa. My brother said I should protect myself because anything can happen.

We have a piece of land on which we were hoping to build a house. I don’t know what to do. Her sister is living with a man but they are not married. I would not lie to you, Pastor. I am worried about the situation. Please tell me how you feel.

C.

Dear C.,

In life, one has to expect anything. Men and women should not swear that their spouses will not be unfaithful.

Nevertheless, a couple needs to trust each other. There comes a time when a man might have reasons to doubt his spouse and I think that is what you are trying to say. Your woman was very happy with you until she went to New York and stayed with her sister. She saw her sister’s lifestyle. Since returning to Jamaica, she is telling you that she does not want to remain here. She wants the entire family to pack up and leave. Therefore, you have become very suspicious.

Your brother is not a fool. He visited her and he did not like what he saw. So he is advising you to prepare for the worst. On the other hand, you should be careful not to give the impression that you believe that your woman saw a man in America and that is why she is eager to leave Jamaica. Look at it this way: if this woman wants to go to America to be with a man, she would not want you to go with her. She would want to go alone, but according to you, she has been saying she wants everybody to go. Is it strategy on her part? Time will tell.

If she wants to go, she will go. One of the days when you go home from work, the house would be empty. That is how women operate. When they are planning to leave a man, they will get up in the morning and make breakfast and even kiss him goodbye, and when he returns from work, the house is empty. It is true that the cost of living in Jamaica is very high. But all those who are eager to leave Jamaica should bear in mind that they should go abroad legally.

Don’t fret; don’t accuse this woman of anything. Time will tell.

Pastor