Convinced my boyfriend gave me lice

Dear Pastor,

I am a 31-year-old woman and I am having an embarrassing problem. My boyfriend and I have been living together for more than two years. He is my only sexual partner.

I have never had another man since we have been living together. I have one son and he is living with his grandparents. I see him every week.

I suspect that my boyfriend is playing around. He told me that he is not guilty of anything, but how can I be suffering from this embarrassing problem if he is not playing around with another woman? I started to feel itching in my pubic area, and the more I searched the area, I realised that it was lice. As I scratch the area, the lice seem to go deeper.

I told my boyfriend that something was wrong. I tried to shave and have him look at me and he confirmed that it was lice. I asked him if he was having any problems and he said no. I do not believe my boyfriend because I researched the matter and I realised that this thing is spread by having sexual contact with one's partner. I can swear that I haven't had sex with another partner, so how come I caught lice?

I am too embarrassed to go to see a doctor, but I discussed it with a female doctor and I pretended that it was one of my girlfriends who had the problem. I was told that one could also become infected from the clothes one wears or even from toilet seats. I searched my boyfriend's jeans, but I did not see anything. I clean the toilet seats even with bleach to try to protect us.

Do you know anything about how lice are spread and how long I will have to suffer from this thing? I told my boyfriend to tell me the truth and if he does, I will not leave him. But is he still insisting that he has not gone to another woman.

H.P.

Dear H.P.,

I believe that you love your boyfriend and if he would admit that there is a possibility that he caught lice, or 'crabs' as it is commonly called, you will forgive him for being unfaithful.

Some women, when they realise that they have caught lice, are very angry with their partners. But I have often said women need not to be angry unless they are absolutely sure that their men had sex with other women who have become infected.

It is a fact, however, that lice are usually spread by sexual contact. But it is also true that they can be spread by the clothing or bed linens. I am sure the doctor told you that they can be spread on your toilet seats and that is why you took the time to clean your seats, etc.

I believe that you should be honest with your doctor friend and tell her the truth so that she can prescribe the necessary medication for you to get rid of this problem. It is embarrassing for you to discuss this problem, but if you want to set yourself free, don't think about the embarrassment; think about what will cure the problem.

Pastor