Cruel Christians blame me for my father’s death

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I live in my parents' house with my boyfriend. After my mother died three years ago, my father gave my boyfriend permission to come and live with us. The people in his church were against him for doing that. They told my father that he was allowing his daughter to fornicate in his house, and he should know better. My father ignored them and my boyfriend moved in.

My father became very ill as he was suffering from cancer. His condition got worse and the doctor advised us to expect anything. My father was receiving a pension and that helped us to support him. He also had life insurance, which I had taken out.

Pastor, people can be so cruel. When my father passed, some people, including those in the church, said I caused my father to die. I decided that I would not want to have anything to do with these so-called Christians. They wanted to have prayer meeting at our house and I told them no.

My boyfriend supported me through everything. I have a brother who lives in England and he came out to assist me. We laid our father's body to rest without any help from his church. My brother heard the rumour that I helped to kill my father, but he did not believe. He thanked my boyfriend for being a part of our family and told him that he can stay at our house as long as he and I are together. My brother told him that he should not carry any other woman into our house.

I don't know how these people, who say they are Christians, can pray at nights when they know they are spreading false accusation against others. I love my parents, especially my father who worked hard to send me to school and to give me a college education. I have always told my parents that I would never let them down.

His funeral service was held at the church, and a young pastor spoke. We were pleased with him. He told me not to give up and I should come back to church and put the members who have said bad things about us to shame. I cannot say that I will not go back, but it will take me a long time to do so. I only regret that my parents did not live long enough to see me married.

Thanks for reading my letter. You are a special gift to Jamaica.

E.K.

Dear E.K.,

Take courage, sometimes bad things are said about children who are taking care of their parents. It is even more painful when family members make these accusations. Sometimes people say that a person can cause the death of his or her parents because they want money that was left. But if your hands are clean, you have nothing to worry about.

A church should rebuke those who made those accusations. So have no fear. You will overcome whatever was said against you. I am glad that your brother is standing with you and giving you the moral support that you need.

I hope that you and your boyfriend will get married and be very happy together. Take good care and let me hear from you again.

Pastor