Had to leave him because he has no ambition

Dear Pastor,

I am a 25-year-old woman. I am living abroad. I was in a relationship with a man for nine years.

I loved him dearly, but the relationship became toxic. When we first got together, I was just out of high school. We went through a lot with each other, including infidelity, fighting and disrespect. We were trying to grow together but it wasn't working. So eventually, I got my own place, car and job.

I was trying to help this man because he doesn't have anything. He lives with his mother and depends on others. I can take care of myself, but I cannot take care of myself and him at the same time. I have tried to help him to get his life together, but he is lost and I don't know how to help him.

Recently, we got into a very big fight. I am very hurt because this is my first real relationship and I have been trying to work on myself, but this man is too stubborn and he does not want to change. This man would just leave me and go with another girl, while I sit here dealing with what has happened between us.

Pastor, please tell me what I should do.

K.M.

Dear K.M.,

This young man does not care about you. The relationship that both of you has had doesn't mean anything to him.

You should not mope over him. I could understand why you feel greatly hurt because both of you were in a relationship for many years. You are now 25 years old and the relationship started soon after you left high school. But it was not going anywhere. People who love each other don't curse each other all the time and fight. He is not trying to improve himself. He should have gone back to school, learnt a skill and got himself a good education, but he has not done so. So you are wasting your time trying to get this man to improve himself. As I said earlier, don't mope and don't waste your money on him. You will get a better man. I will be praying for you.

Pastor