Worried that my fiancé is not a Christian

Dear Pastor,

Thank you for sharing yourself with the world. Many rely on you for guidance.

I know I have been doing so from the time I was a young girl in school. Many of my friends were doing the same. Thank you for your practical advice. I am a young girl and I am about to get married.

My boyfriend does not go to church and that is one of my concerns. He is very negative when it comes to church. He thinks that pastors only want money from members to make themselves rich. He has a good job with government and his mother is very active in a Pentecostal church.

His mother has warned me about her son. She told me that, as a believer, if I go against what God says, I am going to be punished. She reminded me that the Bible says that a Christian should not marry a non-Christian. I told him that his mother cautioned me about his lifestyle and he was very upset with her. My father is not a Christian, but my mother is.

The difference between my father and boyfriend is that my father always sends his offering every Sunday to church and he does not criticise the preacher. But my boyfriend says that these preachers are no good. My parents live in harmony and, every Good Friday and Easter Sunday, my father is in church. On Sundays, he takes my mother to church.

So, I am asking you if you believe that I would be doing something wrong to marry my boyfriend. When I think of him, I think also of the good relationship my parents enjoy and yet my father is not a Christian. I feel confused because I really love this guy. He is pressuring me for sex and I am not ready to give in to him. But I know that, if I do not give in, he is going to find another girl and that would really hurt me because I really love him. He buys me gifts and I don’t have to ask him for anything because I am still living at my parents’ home. Please help me to make the right decision.

K.

Dear K.,

Your boyfriend’s mother knows her son and she believes that it was her responsibility to warn you.

She says that the Bible said that Christians should not be entangled in an intimate relationship with a non-believer. So, she has warned you to be careful. She doesn’t have anything against you, and you have not expressed that. I am sure that she will be very happy to see her son become a Christian and for both of you to be joined together in holy matrimony.

I know I must warn you that you cannot change this man. The mistake that many women make is that they feel that they can change men. If a man is ungodly, he will continue to be ungodly. This young man doesn’t want to have anything to do with church and he believes that pastors are in church to only collect poor people’s money. What a silly fellow. Had it not been for the ministry of the churches, many people would go hungry. You will be wasting your time if you were to try to change this guy.

Your father does not attend church often, but he doesn’t curse the church, neither does he curse pastors. He sends his offering to church every Sunday. God will bless your father. But, please don’t expect your boyfriend to receive blessings. If you go against what God says, you are likely to be punished by God.

Pastor