Lover always using his mouth

Dear Pastor,

I am about to give up on my man, even though I am in love with him. He talks too much. When I met him, I told him the truth about myself.

I do not have such a good past. I was a nightclub girl and I had a relationship with a politician. He knew about it and we talked about it. I told him not to say anything, but he told one of his friends. It has got back to the politician's ears.

I don't have any problem getting any money from the man I am with. He gives me that. One day I went to his house and a couple of his friends were there. They started to talk nasty. I did not expect him to join in with them, but he did. He even told them what I like from what I don't like. I could have smashed that man on his head with my baking pan. The other guys loved the fun and they kept laughing. The only way I got him to stop embarrassing me was when I said to them all he has is mouth; pure mouth. They started to laugh at him because they believed me.

I was not serious about that because he is a good lover. However, a man must learn not to talk everything. I have this man locked in. I have not tied him with banana and cocoa or stew peas. He has admitted that he has never been with any woman who makes love to him the way I do.

I have learned from the best. My sister was not a prostitute. She is now living in America. However, before she left Jamaica, she had this girlfriend who was a prostitute, and she would come and stay with her. They watched blue movies and the girl showed my sister what she should do to men, and how to get them hooked.

CANNOT KEEP HIS MOUTH

I started to look at these blues movies with them and then I practised the moves with different men until this man and I got involved. However, as I said before, he talks about everything. He cannot keep his mouth!

One day I asked him if he has ever discussed, with his child's mother, some of and the things we do in bed and he said no. I don't know if I should believe him. He is begging me not to cheat on him. I don't intend to cheat, but I want to get him to stop chatting about our bedroom business.

I am not interested in getting married and I am not interested in getting kids. I would love to have a big house up in an area such as Red Hills or Beverly Hills. I grew up in a one-bedroom house where all of us as children slept on the same bed. Thankfully, those days are done with. This man can give me that, so I have him locked. He has not taken me out much. He is a man who likes to have fun at home and I don't press him because I don't want him to believe that I am looking outside of the relationship.

His big mouth, however, concerns me. Please, tell me what I can do to get this man to keep his mouth shut. I am begging you.

B

Dear B.,

Some men talk too much. The same is true about some women. I understand that one of the best places to hear gossip is at the hairdressing parlour. I don't know how true it is. I have been going to barber shops for many years and I have not heard gossip. I have not paid attention to what the workers say, but they are always talking.

The point I am making is that I have heard that in these places, people talk nasty and if they are not talking nasty, they talk everything about themselves -- what they did to each other, who was good and who was not good.

I was talking to a preacher some time ago and he mentioned a girl who was considered to be notorious. Somebody said something at the hairdressing parlour about this man and the girl who was there to do her hair asked one question. The question was "is he good in bed?" That is all she wanted to know.

WASH HIS MOUTH OUT

When children are growing up and they say things that they ought not to say, the parents say, 'You need to wash out your mouth with blue soap.' Your man is an adult, but he needs to start washing his mouth with blue soap.

Let's be serious, this man believed that he found you and you are the best thing in the world. What he should do is to learn to cherish you and not to embarrass you in any way. Apparently, it is in his nature to behave stupid and not to understand that there are some things that should never be revealed. Never! Never! Never!

He says nasty things because they come from his mind. But if you know that this is a man that you don't wish to lose, try your best to keep him. Be careful how you say that you don't want to get married, because although you say you have him locked, he may come to realise that he wants a family and he may break the lock. That is a fact because sex alone cannot keep a relationship. That is why when men go out and have affairs, the women say, 'I dont know what I can do again, I gave him sex but he strayed'.

Don't fool yourself. This man has to have a transformation of the heart to change his dirty mind. I wish both of you well. Take good care of each other.

Pastor