Girlfriend’s friend threw herself at me

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am in love with a girl who is 21. Our friendship is one year and six months old. I am not in school. I am learning a trade. We love each other.

This is genuine love. But I caught her with another man and it has really upset me. She told me that they did not have sex, so I asked her why she had her blouse off. She said he was trying to force her to have sex ,but she kept telling him that she could not do it because of me.

This is the first girl I have ever had. She is the one who took my virginity. I thought of forgiving her because I had a brief relationship with her best friend. She came to see me and told me that from the time we met, she fell in love with me. She held on to my pants, pulled my zipper down, and held on to my penis. She started to play with it and I discharged. But I never told my girlfriend that I cheated on her because I didn't have actual sex. If she knew that she would have found the girl and beat her because she is very jealous.

I know the guy my girlfriend was with. He and I were schoolmates. He knew that she is my girlfriend, but he is the type of guy who feels that he can do anything because he comes from a rich family. My girlfriend told me that he offered her $5,000 when he was trying to have sex with her. I have only started to work recently. I don't give my girlfriend money but I buy food for her, like chicken and pizza.

My girlfriend is fat and beautiful. She is attending HEART/NSTA Trust. Every time I see her talking to guys, I get jealous and I wonder if she is doing anything with them. What should I do? I told her not to wear the blouse that she had on when I saw her half-naked. Every time she is in it and I see her, I remember the incident.

She told me that I should learn to trust her. I am trying. Her friend does not come to visit me any more. I told her she is a devil and I don't want to have anything to do with the devil.

M.C.

Dear M.C.,

Young men will always go after girls, so that is something you should realise and learn to deal with. You said that your girlfriend's friend came to see you and told you she always liked you. So that is something you have to expect also. Not all girls will keep away from you because they know that you have a relationship with their friend. In fact, some girls behave as if they like to challenge a man who is already in a relationship.

You saw your girlfriend and another man. She had her blouse off, but she was not engaged in sex. She told you that the man was trying to convince her to have sex with him, but she did not. I don't see why you would not believe her. It is possible she was speaking the truth. So accept what she said. Her friend behaved as if she was so hot. You could have prevented her from masturbating you, but you didn't. So I am assuming you loved what she did. If you had told your girlfriend, perhaps she wouldn't believe that anything further went on between the girl and yourself.

You told her friend not to visit you again. You know she will get you into trouble. You should be able to have social girlfriends, and your girlfriend should have social boyfriends. But if both of you love each other, you should learn to be true to each other.

Pastor