Made love to my dead husband’s brother

Dear Pastor,

I am 50 and I have been married twice. My first husband is still alive, but my second husband died.

I did not have children with my second husband, but I have two children with the first husband. My second husband has a brother who has been very kind to me. He is always calling to check up on me. About a year and a half ago, I became suspicious of him because he started to say that I should leave a little space in my life for him. So one day when he repeated that, I told him that there is always a space in my life for him and that is why we get along so well. He does not carry the same last name as his brother, so many people would not know that they are brothers.

He told me he was coming to Jamaica for vacation and he wanted to know whether he could stay with me. I told him that there is an empty room, so he was free to stay at my place. He said that he hoped that there is also an empty room in my heart. We laughed about it and he told me he was serious. Since my husband died, I have only played around with one man who was an old schoolmate of mine. He was my husband's friend. I have not allowed any other man to uncover me.

This brother came to Jamaica, but none of his relatives knew that he was here. He came in the Saturday evening, and he said he was tired, so he went to bed. The following day which was Sunday, I left him a note informing him that I was going to church. When I returned, he had cooked dinner to feed about 100 people. I was shocked. When I asked him why he cooked so much, he said that would prevent me from cooking dinner every day of the week. I did vegetables and made carrot drink - something I remember that his brother used to like.

This man kept staring in my face and then he told me that he had a confession to make. He said his problem was me. He said every time he goes to bed, he sees me standing before him, so he wants to know whether I would consider marrying him. I told him that he was crazy. He said he was not crazy, just in love with me. I am so shocked, but at the same time, I suspected that this man had something in mind from the time he started to make certain remarks on the phone. A million things went through my mind. What would people say? How could I marry my deceased husband's brother? He said I should forget that his brother was my husband and concentrate on the both of us.

By the middle of the night this man and I were making love passionately. But then I wept and could not control my tears. I felt that I had sinned by having sex with my dead husband's brother. Would I be committing sin by marrying this man? Please give me your advice. I will do whatever you say.

J.T.

Dear J.T.,

I am sure that by now you have dried all your tears. What you are trying to do is to get my opinion.

This man has already convinced you that his brother is dead, so you should not fear that he is able to hurt you in any way. I have observed that you did not write that you love him, but you showed that you do by making passionate love to him. Some may say that I am naive because two people could make passionate love and not love each other. But under your circumstances, I sense that this man gave you his all when he had the opportunity to take you to bed.

Some people will eventually find out that this man used to be your brother-in-law, but that is not their business. You can always tell them to mind their own business. I hope that this man will treat you well. He has always been kind to you. May his love and kindness go deeper in the days ahead. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor