Sister is having an affair with my husband

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. This is the third time I have started to write this letter; I tore up the first two copies.

I have read a few times in your column about sisters who have taken away or tried to take away their sisters' husbands. I always told myself that my sisters would never do that, but something shocked me recently.

One of my sisters who is living abroad came to Jamaica and was spending some time with us. I had to work, but I took one day off to go around with her. Most days my husband took my sister around and I was happy for that. I did not know that my husband fell in love with her. She left for the country and only spent three days with my parents when the plan was to spend five. The plan was that she would take the express back to Kingston, but she made a secret plan for my husband to pick her up in the country.

It was when I was leaving for work that he told me he was going for her. I told him if I had known, I would have planned to take the trip with him. He left very early in the morning, but they did not return to Kingston until late in the night. I became very suspicious of them. When he got home, I could smell her perfume all over his clothes. When he took off his briefs, I went into the bathroom and looked at it and I suspected that he had sex that very day. I saw signs of that.

I did not go to work the following day. I asked my sister where they went and if she had sex with my husband. She said she was surprised at the question. So I asked my husband if he had sex with my sister and he said no. He admitted that he liked her, but he loves me. My sister went back to America and flew back to Jamaica within a month. She booked into a hotel in the country and my husband went to see her without my knowledge. This is my blood sister. We are now living like enemies. This is a sister that I helped to send to school and she is now taking away my husband. She had a boyfriend in America but she has given him up and is encouraging my husband to divorce me. My sister is a slut. I will never have her back in my house.

I told my husband that any time he wants a divorce, I will give it to him because I can never trust him again. Whenever I am having sex with him, I have to force myself to do so. Where I work, there are men there who love me. They are always trying to date me. One of them observed that I don't wear my marriage band any more and he asked me what is going on, but I did not respond. I don't talk to my sister any more. She told my mother that my husband forced himself on her. But my husband and I were not getting along very well and that's how he became involved with her. He has promised to break up with her, but I can tell you they are still going together. The car that my husband is driving belongs to me. To punish him, I am going to take the keys. Because he has given me 'bun' with my sister, I feel that I should give him bun too. I know you will not agree with me.

C.E.

Dear C.E.,

Your sister does not have good morals and your husband doesn't have any respect for you or for himself.

There is no reason why your sister and your husband should have gone to bed. Both of them are bad people. But I cannot encourage you to lower your standards by having sex with another man; you are married and you must respect yourself.

Your sister wants to be whorish and so does your husband, but you should keep your head high. She told your mother that you are a liar, but you know you are not. Perhaps one of these days your sister will admit everything to you. But again I say, don't go to another man because you are going to regret doing so.

I would like to suggest that both your husband and you go to see a family counsellor. I don't know if your marriage can be saved, but at least you should try to do so.

Pastor