Lonely mom is lusting after my aunt’s husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 and my mother is 42. My father died four years ago and his passing is still affecting my mother.

Sometimes I leave my bed and go into her bed just to keep her company. When I am in bed with her, she tells me her inner thoughts. Recently, I found out that my mother masturbates regularly. I was surprised because I thought that at her age, she would have given that up. She told me that that is the only way she gets a release. She has had men trying to date her, but she compares these men to my father.

My father loved my mother and would do anything for her. I am their only child. My mother has one sister; she is married to a man who comes from a wealthy family. One night while I was on my mother's bed, she told me that she loves my aunt's husband. They have never had an affair, but whenever she talks to him on the phone, she masturbates. But he does not know that she loves him.

I told my mother that that is wrong, but she told me I do not understand what she is going through, and asked why she should suffer and her sister is enjoying her man. My father died in an accident. My mother takes care of us. She has a very good job, but she is not interested in any of the men who have showed interest in her and who have tried to date her. She said they are not in her category. My mother does not need money; she told me what she needs is love and companionship. She can take care of the sex. She knows how to love herself and come to orgasm. Don't you think that my mother needs psychological help?

My aunt and her husband are planning to come to Jamaica very soon. My mother told me that she admires her sister's husband and he turns her on, but he does not know that. I am hoping that while her sister and her husband are in Jamaica, I would get time off from my job to stop my mother from getting into trouble with this man. My mother would not want anyone to know that I have written this letter to you. So I am not asking you to help to find her a man.

S.D.

Dear S.D.,

Your mother and you have a very close relationship and she has confided in you about how she feels about life; especially intimacy. She spoke to you not just as mother and daughter, but as woman to woman.

It is not unusual for people your mother's age to engage in self-pleasure daily, and some of them do so twice in one night. If they have sexual partners and they do not feel satisfied, they masturbate and bring themselves to orgasm. I hope that although you were shocked to know that your mother masturbates, you will not condemn her.

As I answer this letter, I am thinking of a dear lady who had three children and admitted to me that she has to masturbate to keep her body under control. Another one told me that even after making love to her husband, she masturbates. Once, her husband woke up and realised that is what she was doing. He rebuked her, but she didn't stop.

I hope your mother would not cause the relationship between her sister and her to break up. Your mother is still young; she has to learn to socialise, so that she can meet good men and develop a relationship with one of them.

Pastor