Dad doesn’t want me to marry a dunce man

Dear Pastor,

I have always read your column, but this is the first time I am writing to you. I am 25 and the only child for my father.

He did not marry my mother. He accused her of cheating on him, but I found out a couple of years ago that my father was the cheater. One day my father and I went to an event and his side chick greeted him with a French kiss. I asked them, "What is this right before my face?" The woman said, "Your father might not have told you, but we were always in love with each other, but your mother won the battle and she got your father, but he knows I am always here for him." After she left, I asked my father how come he told me that it was my mother who cheated on him. He said that he told me so because he did not want to lose me as his only child. He asked me not to discuss it with my mother. I do not hate my father, because he has put my name on the title of his house.

My mother is still not married. She told me that there is no man in her life. My father told me that he will never go back to my mother. I would love to see them get back together. My mother is very active in her church, but I prefer to attend the church my father and I attend.

Now, let me get to a point. I am in love with a young man who comes from a very poor family. He has nothing, but he is going to HEART. My father told me I should not get married to anyone who does not have the same educational standard as I do. My father told me that when a woman marries a man who is less educated than her, he is likely to be 'fresh' and does not reason very well.

This guy and I do not fool around, but I have a spot in my heart for him. I am eager to hear what you have to say.

M.B.

Dear M.B.,

Your father lied to you, but you have come to realise that you should forgive him.

You give the impression that he was a very good father to you. He provided for you. He sent you through school, and now I am assuming that you have a good job. You are very fortunate to have a father who has put your name on his house title. As you get older, you will realise that there are many young people, particularly women, who would love to have a father like yours. He did not give you bad advice when he told you the type of man you should not marry.

Some women have married men who do not have the same educational standards as themselves, and that has created problems for them. On the other hand, some have been able to raise these men up to their standard, because the men were willing to go back to school and further their education. Some, however, have brushed education aside and have cursed their women, telling them that they could live without education. So your father has cautioned you to be careful.

I hope that this young man will be wise, and that you will decide what would be in your best interest.

Pastor