Fiancée afraid to share a bed before the wedding

Dear Pastor,

My girlfriend and I are living in North America. We are Christians. We are planning to come to Jamaica to get married.

My parents are also coming. We engaged a planner to take care of the arrangement for us. We find the course to be extravagant. My siblings, my parents, my girlfriend and I would be at the same hotel. It would be cheaper for my girlfriend and I to stay together. We will be cutting cost that way. But the pastor of our church would also be attending our wedding, and we would not want him to know that we were sleeping together.

My parents told me that we would only be sleeping together for one night before the wedding, so what difference would it make. My father is mocking me. He is telling me that my pastor is behaving as someone who is from the Stone Age. However, my girlfriend says that she would prefer not to sleep with me on the eve of our wedding because she does not trust me to behave myself and she is still a virgin.

I told her that we can make different arrangements for the sleeping, although we have our own special room that would be reserved for the married couple. Do you think there is anything wrong with my girlfriend and I sleeping together, bearing in mind that we are going to get married the following day?

T.T.

Dear T.T.,

You are trying to say that circumstances at the hotel may cause your girlfriend and you to sleep together on the eve of your wedding.

Your parents would be at the hotel and other family members on your side, and her parents and family members would be there. The officiating minister is also going to be there. You and your girlfriend are Christians and both of you have never had sex together; she is a virgin. She does not want to lose her virginity before she says "I do". You shouldn't try to set me up by asking my opinion.

The pastor who would officiate at your wedding would be staying at the same hotel. Therefore, as you are planning to be married, ask your pastor what suggestion he would make. You don't have to sleep in the same room with your bride to be. Why can't you allow some of the guys to sleep together and the girls to sleep together just for one night until the marriage takes place? Therefore, you would not have to go through the stress that you are going through now.

The Bible condemns sex before marriage and that is all I have to say.

Pastor