My wife says no sex during Lent

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about a problem. I am perplexed over this matter. I have been married for two and a half years.

I am 25 and my wife is 23. She is a Christian, but I am not. Last year during Lent, she refused to have sex with me. She said that I should wait until after Lent. I asked her what was so significant about Lent. She said that sex was something she would like to give up until the Lenten period ended. Sometimes when I felt for sex I used to go into the bathroom and masturbate. She told me that I should learn to control myself, because I told her I was masturbating. She didn't appear to care, but I told her that I wouldn't touch her, since she wanted a break from sex.

This year, she has started her foolishness again by telling me there will be no sex. I told her I would either have to rape her or go out on the road or find another woman; I am so serious. She cannot show me any Bible passage that forbids married couples from having sex during Lent. I have decided that I will not masturbate when my wife is sleeping and in good health. I have never cheated on her since we got married. I could have done so many times, but I have tried to be faithful to this beautiful wife of mine. She will graduate this year. I am paying for her to attend university. It is not difficult for me to find another girl, because they are always showing an interest in me, and I am the one who is always fighting them off.

One girl recently asked me if I have gone to the 'other side', because she wanted to go out and I told her that I had to get home. She also wanted to know if I found her attractive. It is not that I don't, but I am trying to keep away from what I know is wrong. But I would like to hear from you. Would I be committing a sin if I should buy sex on the street because my wife has been insisting that we should not have sex during Lent?

Please sir, if there is a verse in the Bible that supports my wife, please point this out to us.

E.R.

Dear E.R.,

I don't even have to try look for a verse in the Bible that supports the foolishness that your wife is carrying on.

Lent is a period of time that was introduced by a certain religious group; it is not a biblical doctrine or practice. Any couple who wishes to abstain from sex is not doing so on biblical grounds, so your wife cannot claim that she or you would get any spiritual benefit from abstaining from sexual intercourse. Neither of you would be committing sin by having sex during Lent. I can tell you how ridiculous some people are. Some couples don't engage in sex on the Sabbath or when they are planning to go to church. It seems, to my understanding, that they feel that they are committing a sin. Some people definitely teach that if they are Sunday worshippers, they should never have sex on a Sunday. To me, such persons are crazy.

My friend, I cannot encourage you to go to other women, neither can I encourage you to rape your wife. But I believe that you are indeed frustrated. So you should tell your wife that both of you need to go and see a family counsellor to discuss this matter. I hope your wife will not allow what she is doing to cause both of you to break up.

Pastor