Boyfriend insists that I sign a prenup

Dear Pastor,

I am a 26-year-old woman and I am having a problem, so I am seeking your guidance.

For the past two years I have been with a man. He was married but he and his wife broke up; he is now divorced. I asked him what he is going to do about me and he said that he will marry me but I will have to sign a prenuptial agreement, or prenup. I told him that it should not be necessary for me to sign that. He insisted that I would have to sign that or else he would not marry me.

I told him that if he loves me, he would not be insisting that I should sign a prenup. He said that I am a young girl, and anything can happen to him and his children will not get what he wants them to get, explaining that I could work things out with a new man and his children would not get anything. He told me that very plainly. I cannot work with this man. He never used to be so unfriendly, and yet I can say he is the best man I have ever had.

This man has two houses. He is from a wealthy family. His father left some property for him. So that is why he is behaving like this. I should tell you that at present, I am pregnant by him and I really would like to get married before I have the baby. Do you think this man really loves me? He is always commenting on what I might do if something happens to him.

When I first met him, he never said certain things; now he says that he does not trust women. So I am writing to you to ask you what I should do. Do you think that if this man really loves me he would insist that I sign a prenup? I will be looking out for your answer.

A.K.

Dear A.K.,

I am going to ask you to do your own research on this matter. You are a young woman indeed. But this man is trying his best to protect himself and the children he has fathered before meeting you. He is not telling you anything that is wrong.

In today's world, only about 50 per cent of marriages survive. He has been quite open with you. What he is really saying is that the assets that he had before meeting you should be mentioned in an agreement that is called a prenup before both of you get married. In case you should get divorced, those assets will not be divided at all. His children, or any other relatives, will not lose these assets.

Now, don't be silly; tell the man you are willing to sign a prenup. Assets that both of you have worked and acquired will have to be divided. I see nothing wrong with prenuptial arrangements. If you were in a similar position, it would have been wise for you to ask him to sign one. So whenever this matter is raised again, tell the man you are ready to sign. In fact, tell the man you are ready to sign now. Raise the matter before he says anything further to you.

Pastor