Trying to find my estranged brother

Dear Pastor,

My mother had two of us for my father. But she also had a son from another relationship. My father raised him.

My father told us that he is our brother, so we should always treat him as such. When he was about 15, he became very out of order. He started to touch me and when I objected, he cursed me. I complained to my mother and she said he was only playing. I told my father and he spoke to him.

One day I was alone at home, using the outside bathroom. He knew I was having a bath and he pulled the door and I told him to close it back. He said he did not want me because he had his girlfriend. As soon as my parents came, I told them, and my father told him that that was the last time he was warning him. If he did it again, he was going to run him out of the house. He said that my father didn't like him and my mother told him that if my father didn't like him, how come he supported him all these years? He turned against me and always threatened that he was going to do something very bad.

He stopped going to school and he got a job as a side man on a truck. By that time, he was about 18. We did not see him for about two years and one day we heard that he was mixed up in a gang. My mother tried unsuccessfully to find him. A few years ago a woman came to see my mother. She had a baby and she said it was his baby and he was in prison. My mother told her that she couldn't help her. My father gave the girl $3,000 and told her to get herself a job. We asked her why our brother was in prison and she said she didn't know. My mother told her that she could not take the responsibility to support a child that she never knew about.

Sometimes we feel sorry that we did not get more information about the girl, like her name. But because my brother was always threatening me, I did not think about that. But I am a Christian now, and I would love to help. I don't know if my brother is dead or alive. I told my mother that I was going to write you, but she said she did not want her name to be called, because her son is a criminal. If he sees this letter, I hope that he will contact you, so that we can reach out to him. I want him to know that I have forgiven him for the threats. If I did not stand up strong, my brother would have raped me. I hope he is still alive.

I am in a good job now and I would love to help that child that the girl says is his.

V.M.

Dear V.M.,

I hope that your brother is alive and I hope that he or his child's mother will see the letter. He was careless and out of order, but you have a good attitude. You have forgiven him for his behaviour, and you are trying to reach out.

Just a few years ago something happened in Kingston. I knew the parents of a young man and I knew the young man also. He left rural Jamaica and came to Kingston. He found himself in a particular area and got involved with some of the men. His parents warned him to be careful. He went back to rural Jamaica to visit them and they begged him not to return to Kingston and told him how dangerous it was for him to be living in that area; but he didn't listen. He left their home and returned to Kingston and they never heard from him again. But they heard that he had died under tragic circumstances. So often some children like to have their own way and people blame their parents, but their parents have really tried with them.

Your father supported your brother as he did the other children. But your brother wanted to have his own way. He was rude and out of order. I believe what you said. You would have known if he wanted to sexually assault you. He left home and got into the wrong crowd. I believe that he told the young woman about his parents and siblings and that is why she came with her baby and needed help. He is an embarrassment to his parents and that is why your mother does not want her name to be called.

I hope that someone who knows his whereabouts or the whereabouts of his child's mother would contact us. You take care of yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I wish you well.

Pastor