Helper’s son stole my money

Dear Pastor,

I am 51 years old. I lost my wife from cancer three years ago. We only had two children and they are not in Jamaica. I talk to them every day.

My children encourage me to find somebody to help me prepare my meals and take care of the home. It is a three-bedroom house.

My neighbour told me that she could get me a woman. She introduced me to her. Everything was going well. After a few weeks, she told me that she had a son and she would like him to come and spend a week with her. The boy is 15. He is a quiet young man.

I had some money and I put it away carefully, but when I was ready for it, I couldn't find it. So I asked the helper if she came across it and she said no. She said perhaps I didn't remember where I put it; so I said okay, I may just find it. One of my daughters sent me $15,000 for Father's Day. I took that money and put it in one of my shoes. I knew for sure that I put it in my shoe; that's not a shoe that I wear unless it is a special occasion.

I was invited out by some of my friends for Father's Day, so I dressed up and when I pulled out that shoe, there was no money. I was shocked. So I called the helper and told her that the money I got for Father's Day was missing. She said she didn't know anything about it. Her son was in his room, so I called him and I told him that I knew he took the money. I told him also that I would call the police and have him arrested. I said that to scare him. I also told him that he and his mother should leave my house immediately.

The young man said I shouldn't call the police, and he didn't want me to fire his mother. He only borrowed the money because his father had promised him some money, so he borrowed my money and was going to put it back. I told him I did not believe him. He went into his room and took the money from where he had it. I told him he did not borrow the money, he stole it. He gave me back the $15,000. I asked him for the $5,000 that I had missed some weeks ago, but he said he did not know about that one.

This is a bright, intelligent young man, but he is a thief. His mother begged me to allow him to stay until after the summer. So, he is still here, but I am not comfortable with him around. The thing that is bothering me, Pastor, is that his mother and I have been spending time together. We have our private moments, and I have got to love her. My children are not aware of that, so I am asking you what should I do.

This woman is a great help to me in every way. She said she did not know the young man was a thief. He is living with his father.

G.A.

Dear G.A.,

It is not unusual for some men to become sexually and emotionally involved with their helpers. Many helpers have become wives to the men they were taking care of.

When I was studying for the sacred ministry, the principal of the college, in introducing one of the guest speakers, said that the speaker became ill one day and was hospitalised, and he did not recover from his illness until one particular nurse took care of him and administered tender love and care. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying all helpers are like that. But anything can happen when a man falls in love with his helper, and vice versa .

The unfortunate thing here is that this woman has a son who steals. If you were to get married to her, you would have to remember that you have a stepson who is a thief, and if he continues to steal, he might end up in prison. If you did not threaten to call the police on him, he would have left with your money. Even if you are going to allow the woman to remain in her job, let this young man go back to his father. Caution his mother that she will have to leave if you suspect that she has stolen anything from you.

You are 51 and you have to do your best to protect anything that you have, including your money.

Pastor