Think this man is trying to get my house

Dear Pastor,

I am 61 but I don't look my age, neither do I feel my age. I am still very strong. I am going to be criticised for telling you a few things about myself. I have been married twice.

My first marriage took place when I was 25. I went to live with my husband abroad. We did not have children, and that was my only regret. He worked hard. People told me that I was beautiful and that my skin was pretty. My husband tried hard to get me pregnant, but I did not.

My husband had sex with me 24/7 and I never objected. One doctor told him, in my presence, that perhaps he should not have sex so often and I may get pregnant. However, he never listened to the doctor. Anytime he rolled me over in bed, I knew what he wanted, so we had our time. My husband lost his life in an accident, so I was left alone. It was hard to live alone. Different people stayed with me from time to time, but I never stopped crying.

Some of his friends became friendly with me. I am ashamed to say that his best friend and I became intimate. After we had sex for the first time, I cried for a whole day because I knew my husband wouldn't want me to be so close with his best friend. But it happened. And it happened again and again, and after the third time, I told him not to come back. I called a professional locksmith and changed the locks on my door. My late husmand's friend was upset that I locked him out. He came back to the house, but I did not let him in. I also locked him out of my 'you know what'.

When I got my husband's insurance money, I added two rooms and two bathrooms to the house, and I took on boarders. One of the guys was very nice. He was respectful. Although he was younger than me, I fell in love with him and we became lovers. He was always on time with his rent. He lived with me for three and a half years, and only the other boarder suspected that we had something going on. The other boarder tried to get close to me, but I did not like him.

Sometimes I became so lonely that I started to attend church. Now, there is a man in the church who loves me and he says that he would like to marry me. He is a nice man. He used to have many women, but he has stopped. My big problem with him is that I do not love him very much, and I told him so. He is sure that as the days go by, I will get to love him. It has been over two years now and my love for him has not grown.

I don't know what to do and he is becoming very frustrated. I told him that we can remain friends, but he can go and find another woman. To tell you the truth, I have been wondering whether this man has his eyes on my house. He knows that I do not have children, so he would like to come in and be a part of my life and inherit what I have.

I want you to give me your very best advice. Love you, Pastor.

F.E.

Dear F.E.,

You have spoken your mind. I understand clearly what you are saying, and you have to be very cautious. Even your husband's best friend might not have had pure motives.

You felt you were doing something terribly wrong when you were going with him, so you broke off that relationship. Then you had a fling with one of your boarders. But you knew that that one would not have lasted.

The man you are now with, you are not in love with him. I must tell you the truth. You have given the relationship time, but you do not love him, and you should not force yourself to love him. You are suspicious of him. Tell him the truth; I think you have already done so. You might have to change the locks on your door on him, too. I hope it won't get to that.

Some men never take no for an answer, but you are a wise woman, and you know how to handle yourself. So, take good care of yourself.

Pastor