Babyfather doesn’t want me to improve myself

May 22, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I listen to you every night and I enjoy listening to you. I come from a rural parish, but I work in Kingston as a helper. I have three children and I left them with my mother.

Their father and I are not getting along because when I got pregnant the first time, I told him that I did not want to have any more children. I wanted to go to a teachers' college.

By the time our first child was eight months old, I found myself pregnant again. Then I had another child. My mother told me I did not have any ambition.

This man is just a farmer. I know he is trying his best, but my goal is to become a professional. Since I have been in Kingston, my eyes have been opened to many opportunities, and I could cheat on him because we are not seeing eye to eye.

But I know he is not cheating on me. I was hoping to enter college this September, but with all that is going on now, I am not sure that would be possible.

When I see some of the girls in my age group doing so well, I could beat myself. On the other hand, some of my classmates have tied up themselves with guys who are just like my children's father. They have no ambition.

Pastor, if you were to see me, I look so good, but all my children's father is trying to tell me is that I should give up Kingston and come back home.

I am so nervous about my daughter. My mother is trying her very best, but a girl needs her mother. My little girl needs me and I need an education.

Sometimes I feel like giving up and going back home, as their father suggested. But I cannot go home and fold my hands and depend on a man to support me. Please give me your advice.


Dear P.T.,

I would encourage you to pursue your goals. What's happening in Jamaica now will come to an end. You haven't given your age but from what you have said you are a mature woman.

You ought not to allow your past to prevent you from doing well in the future.

Yes, you have made mistakes. Many young people do. But, continue to be strong. Go back to rural Jamaica to visit as often as you can. But if you give up your job in the capital city and go back, you will have to rely on others to feed you.

Stay where you are and work hard. The little money you are earning, save much of it. Opportunity lost may never return. So, embrace what opportunities come your way. I wish for you, young woman, prosperity.


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