Self improvement is key


March 15, 2016

Well, it's not like they are lost, they may just be hard to locate sometimes, especially if you don't know what you want. The most important thing, though, is to be 'Mr or Ms Right' yourself.

Finding the right man or woman is not going to change you into a better person than you already are. If you are lazy and self-centred, finding a generous hard working spouse is not going to transform you. If you are boring and a one-dimensional person, finding a highly intellectual individual is not going to change who you are.

Learn how to be interesting, kind, caring and unselfish. Model yourself after men and women you admire. Work hard at changing your character defects. (If you are not sure what they are, ask your mother!) As a mother, I would say become more well-rounded, complete your education, get a hobby, volunteer and expose yourself to people who are less fortunate than you are.

cross-cultural missions

Travel abroad if you can and see how fortunate we are in the Jamaica (That's what I do with my young people, I engage them in cross-cultural missions so they see differently. It certainly teaches some humility by volunteering to serve others). Get some counselling consultation if you need to learn to be assertive or how to share your feelings. If you have some childhood traumas, deal with them now by talking to someone who can give you professional help. Learn to be happy with yourself, first. No man or woman, no matter how right, is going to make you happy. You will only be happy in your new relationship if you are happy.

People may think I am vain for saying this one, but evaluate your physical attractiveness. Not everyone is Miss Jamaica or Mr Body Builder, and although nobody always looks like the models in magazines, we each have something going for us. Find out what your best feature is and accentuate it. Accept yourself for who you are, but don't use that as an excuse to let yourself go either.

spouse's appearance

Some men like a woman with a little meat on her bones, and some women want hunks, but no one wants a slob. Big can be beautiful if you manage things correctly. If you are overweight, consult your doctor or a trainer and find out what is healthy for a person your size.

Both men and women I have spoken to want to be proud of their spouse's appearance, not embarrassed. Work with what you have now, you don't need to spend a fortune, simply plan wisely with a few sharp pieces. Small changes can make a world of difference in your looks as well as your outlook.

Ask yourself where you want to be in 25 years. What type of person do you want to become? How will your choices now influence that outcome? Try to think beyond your nose for a few minutes. Look down the road. Be honest; what does your heart desire?

Just a pay check, children, a companion? What you choose today will have an impact on what you get later. Choose wisely because what looks good now may cause heartache later. What you do now really does matter.

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