Doing the right things to make your marriage work


February 16, 2016

Okay, so we took a break last week in your marriage preparation, so let's wrap it up this week. As women, we can place a lot of emphasis on getting married, but not enough on staying married.

We have the erroneous idea that good marriages just happen, but most people have to work hard to do the right things to make their marriages work. Note well!

Don't nag him. Being nagged by wives is a common complaint that comes my way as a counsellor, it's so common that it is almost expected by men!

This really saddens me, especially since nagging is so completely unnecessary! My husband says I am miserable like an old goat, but not that I nag. Do not allow yourself to become a stereotypical wife of having to go on and on about everything. Your job as his wife is to uplift him, not bring him down with your words.

Talking to your husband in a positive and loving way will go a lot further than telling him what he 'needs' to do.Trust me!

Men hate that word, so stop sounding like the man's mother. Ladies, an important fact to know is that studies show that the male brain does not process the female voice the same way it would another man's voice.

To have effective communication with your husband, you should not only remember to watch what you say, but also how often you say it, as he may just tune you out.

Don't forget to be his girlfriend. 'Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus ... ' That's the line of the good ole gospel song, but we ladies need to remember that we can't just be sweet, horny and lovable only on Valentine's Day because men expect it every day. You will have to continue to be his girlfriend- even if you are his wife.

Remember how hard you worked to make sure you were easy-going whenever you saw him at the beginning of your relationship? Don't stop once you get a ring, be a sport.

I know that age, pregnancy and other health factors can get our bodies and emotions all out of the 'nice', but we should still remain relevant.

Men love to feel desired and appreciated just as much as we do. They love a recreational partner, this shows your husband that you value your relationship.

Think of sex as a priority. You know I couldn't conclude without adding this delicious sexiness, right. Sex! There is a comedy that my husband loves to watch called Everybody Loves Raymond. Raymond is always so scared to upset Debra (his wife), fearing it would mean no sex for him.

Well, ladies, if you think food is what they think about all the time, then you definitely haven't read my book. It's sex, sex, and more sex.

Now let the men grunt, 'Amen!' Sex should be abundant after marriage! Raymond's example of marriage may explain why so many men are terrified of marriage, and it is also what's keeping many husbands upset. Sexual anorexia is killing them.

Sex is much more than just a physical act to a husband. Studies show that sex is a need and a source of validation for men. You do not want to continuously have your man feeling unwanted by the woman he loves, that's not fair or right. Men find great solace in making love to their wives, it relaxes them (ask your married friends).

When you get there, make sex an amazingly pleasurable, healthy act. God will supply, but you must learn to apply.

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